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11-23-05, 09:00 PM | #1 | ||||
Light Weight
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Destiny's Destination..
IP:
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2549896
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2549899 i reside in the worn hands of destiny my life was inscribed inside its lifeline running from the heel of those hands to the first breath of me.. oh so spiritual running various lyrical rugged roads the streets that help mold me..when u open the palms of Destiny u should see a M which stands for miracle turned that same hand over and follow the follicles to the root and maybe u will find the power that powered those fingers to sculpt a being so powerful that once decease his soul still lingers neva to exceed the tips of those fingers eternally following a ripple of circles u know mistakes and hurdles until one day that hand was angered and balled a fist in its fury giving my life a twist finger tips pressed against my black skin like symphonys of a GRAND jury feel the cold steel grips drip death concealed in confinement behind bars apart of me died instantly like jesters that defied Czars though i was trapped as a fur coat or expensive rug the pictures i took in from scriptures left me as free as the butterfly on Jayceon Taylors Mug left the cells pressence but kept the essence i was a institutionalized guy but one thing couldnt hide knowlege from me in a book ur best bet was to hide the book from me cuz if u gave me one read id catch the message though a lost soul i found my worth by reading how my ancestors were sold imagined shackles on my wrist and whips tightly held by a fist swinging whamm..whamm..damn the whelps on my soul still i walk with a grimace from 400 hundred years ago but i blame no one for my shortcomings and pains except the man in the mirror yo now i have a seed that resembles me so when she looks in the mirror will she see the wrong i done will she die young cuz i wanted to live older will the smoke of my sins smother her lungs if i died for her to live will that cover the cost if so drive a stake through my palms on a rugged cross and let the pain bleed from Destiny
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Where Im From! Cabrini Green! Quote:
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Last edited by Spoken Prophecy : 11-26-05 at 01:31 PM. |
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11-24-05, 05:05 PM | #2 | ||||
Light Weight
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IP:
uppin.......................
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Where Im From! Cabrini Green! Quote:
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11-24-05, 06:09 PM | #3 | ||
STROBE's Favorite Rapper
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IP:
ok your flow is horrible on this and if its a poem you need to seriously work on syllabel count.vocab was o.k also here.your imagery was good but felt forced in some areas due to your very streched lines which had many more words then were basically needed here.overall it was a o.k piece.i personally think you should rewrite it and drop again due to the fact is does have potential to it.
please check out one of my open mics and leave some feed.
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Overall Rapverse Record Including Leagues 94-29
R.I.P RAPVERSE
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11-25-05, 03:27 PM | #4 | ||
Banned: Cheating
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IP:
This was more of a poem than an actual rap song. The flow was way off since half of the poem didn't rhyme. I kept reading to find the interesting part of the part of the actually beginning, but i never found it. You had good vocab in it, but the whole concept should have been thought out better.
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11-26-05, 01:33 PM | #5 | ||||
Light Weight
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IP:
i see u guys still havent elevated
all poems dont rhyme lol yo get at me on www.holla-front.com www.mic-life.com or www.rapjunkies.com if ur on here and u really considering Elevating!!
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Where Im From! Cabrini Green! Quote:
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