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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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12-20-05, 10:29 PM
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#1
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New to RV
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Voices at Random
IP:
The voices
I can't stand them There random It's happening again Can't look back The wrong track I can't face it Don't waste It but it's just to hard I dread that thing but i wish it won't happen but i can't stop hearing them those voices at random Sum poem i made in mii own spare time i think itz pretty good wat do u guyz think!!?! |
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12-21-05, 12:33 PM
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#2
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Just searching.
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IP:
Horrible. You should run headfirst into a lake.
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12-30-05, 04:39 AM
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#3
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Odi et Amo
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IP:
^Don't listen to him lolz
The thing is, I feel what you're trying to say here but you should've added more complexity to the poem. Give us more details about those voices, tell us what they're like, why you hear them and such. Use images to express the "theory" in your words. Pour raw emotion in there, tell us how the voices make you feel in more poetic wordings. Keep writing girl!
__________________
Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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12-30-05, 09:59 AM
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#4
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1926
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IP:
PM me with two links to poems have responded to to have this re-opend.
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12-30-05, 10:00 AM
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#5
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1926
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IP:
. . . *Closed* |
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