Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
|
01-05-06, 07:58 AM | #1 | ||
Middle Weight
|
A letter to the President
IP:
Dear Mr. President,
To the commander in chief, you’ve got such a passion for things But the passionate clings to misconceptions crafted beneath Lies man handle your speech, look at the damage you bring Death canvasses teens, tears in heaven, parents candles convene Rainy days with broken umbrellas, slugs open up fella’s Innocent tortured stories they tell us, the glory is yellow Because shorties undeveloped, the morning is hella Hot…no sleep, cold sweat shop…the sun swelters And you stand there and smirk, without a care for their births I’m embarrassed you jerk, damn it, where was your word? I don’t care where you work, I just care if you work! America’s last? Sure, since your parents come first So I say, Mr. President, your lack of precedence Homeland questions is, amounting but stays directionless 9/11 sectioned it, but other problems still prevalent Iraqis question this, American’s still question it Welfare and social security amuck, so I say what the fuck Cheney’s corrupt, peep the Halliburton correlation you schmuck Only done coke once? Your ape face says your still faded as fuck Running shoes better start lacing them up, I’m chasing this duck Not a new thing, dictate like the American Sadaam Hussein Black gold fool’s cane, align the oil trade grouping A powerful pool game, determines who ‘moves things’ At what price though? Got me questioning who’s sane |
||
01-05-06, 07:59 AM | #2 | ||
Middle Weight
|
IP:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=218368
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2606873 Last edited by Lil C : 01-05-06 at 08:02 AM. |
||
01-05-06, 06:36 PM | #3 | ||
a.k.a prozak
|
IP:
DAMN at the rhyming concept u defintly a good lyricist
but u need a lil more experience u want feed here it is nuthin bout it is fictional but try ta be more original this was pacs idea, try ta be a lil more of a leada but oh well what the hell u dope at this i can tell this aint really fake or pretend id give this a 8/10 use this advice i gave ya and keep it up playa lol yea that right i rapped out ur feed .....but im DEFITNLY feeling this i think this the best o.m i read i aint even bullshittin u..everybody else on here either fronts, is really wack wit lyrics, or raps bout materlistic thangs along wit killing muthafuckas wit there 4-5's lol, they dont ever take time ta keep it real...but i defitnly can tell u comin wit a strong message i love that..the only drawback is that it kinda was based off of pacs "dear mr president" song off of the Still I Rise album pac and the outlawz put out in 99...other than that i can tell that u defitnly put ur soul inta this...keep comin strong ma..always release ur true opinions in every audio, text, and poem that u do and u'll get major respect..muthafuckas really should quit sleepin on shit these dayz especially o.ms...o.ms CAN be dope if the real dope emcees on here take time ta do o.ms and leave feed on each others shit and stop biting shit and the open mic forum could be stronger than ever but werd keep this shit up...yo holla at me on aim if u ever wanna chat or sumthin "mc slayor"...holla anyways im out pc Last edited by Alpha Assassin : 01-06-06 at 05:49 AM. |
||
01-06-06, 07:59 AM | #4 | ||
Middle Weight
|
IP:
wow dat was A LOT too read lol........but fo real thanx fo da advice Alpha I really appreciate it....yea dats where i got da idea...sorry lol but im a HUGE tupac fan n i figured i'd make my own piece bout it.........but really once again thanx Alpha...People DONT SLEEP ON DIS PLZ...............oh btw will RTF Alpha......1
|
||
01-06-06, 10:18 AM | #5 | ||
P.S.A**DYNASTY
|
IP:
no feed dont diss my crew ever again or i will rip u with every audio member of my crew ya DIG??
__________________
trakk star aka non fixion
|
||
01-06-06, 11:19 AM | #6 | |
New to RV
|
IP:
nice way with words u got here fosho.. concept dealt with in detail.. and a kind of poetic touch to the flow/rythm..
good vocabs... word3d well yeah good drop pz |
|
01-06-06, 12:21 PM | #7 | ||
Middle Weight
|
IP:
lol NON-FIXION................................hahahahahaha hahaha.....ok now dat i got it out.........lol thanx fo da feed Vortex....uppin
|
||
01-07-06, 05:05 PM | #8 | |
Dope Like Whoa
|
IP:
Marry Me??
__________________
Dope Like WHOA, SON!
|
|
01-08-06, 05:59 PM | #9 | |||
a.k.a prozak
|
IP:
Quote:
hell no why would she want u?? its me shes marrying maybe me and her can have a lil c Last edited by Alpha Assassin : 01-08-06 at 06:02 PM. |
|||
01-08-06, 07:31 PM | #10 | |
Dope Like Whoa
|
IP:
Lmfao that was dope.
But seriously, Lil C is fucking sexy and such.
__________________
Dope Like WHOA, SON!
|
|
01-09-06, 07:47 AM | #11 | ||
Middle Weight
|
IP:
lol sorry Fuck im all Alpha's lol awe thanx tho Fuck.......lol newayz peeps....uppin dis
|
||
01-09-06, 04:41 PM | #12 | ||
a.k.a prozak
|
IP:
HAHA see she's in love with me
|
||
01-09-06, 04:54 PM | #13 | ||
P.S.A**DYNASTY
|
IP:
^^^^^man get on msn u dumbass
__________________
trakk star aka non fixion
|
||
01-09-06, 04:55 PM | #14 | ||
I Chill in Asylums
|
IP:
Nice, i loved the words in this. The flow was nice and like i said b4 vocab was great. The topic was different than alot of otha om's ive read which is good. And ive heard 2pac's version b4 so it was nice to see a person tryin to come up with their own. My favorite line was definitely "I don’t care where you work, I just care if you work!". Theres so much truth to that line, u kno. But anways i'd give this piece an 8.5/10. Nice work, please return the favor on my om called Runnin'. Peace.
|
||
01-09-06, 10:24 PM | #15 | ||
+
|
IP:
Nice, Really like it, wordplay was real good, imagery real good as well, good vocab, pretty much good everything man, like the concept lots, good drop man.
|
||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|