http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=233413
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=233464
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a tell all title...........beat by VTZ....

www.myspace.com/blackdragonsic
^^Click A Betrayed Metaphor
or
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/son...&songID=4317227
^^Click Hi-Fi or Lo-Fi

'preciate all feedback.........

pz

~1~

*valid links*

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Listen'n.....Beats ok
coulda bin turned up a lil

1st: Not bad kid nice presence kinda laid back u know on some mike shinota type shit...very deep nice delivery, good emotion...100%

HOok: Didnt like all that much u lacked a lil emotion but the concept was good...lyrics was cool...

2nd: my pens my friend just a metaphor dope son like that shit...writters block is a bitch lol.....but u came off better on this verse but the lyrics aint compare to the first verse son wit out a doubt...but good shit i like'd this track...

Over-all
I c nuttin wrong wit it...not much i can see that was done wrong wit the mixing' over-all great job homie on the mixin' 100% for most part.. there were some parts u lacked emotion on the delivery..but thats a bitch to grasp at times i know how that is cuz i have the same problem at times...but good track dog good concept like' the topic u touched on good shit keep doin what u do holla back 1

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...preciate da feed Vato............yo man u gotta link i'll return feed........

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i agree beat seems too low. the chorus is lacking. maybe it's the mic your using i dunno. you need more emotion in the chorus though. i like the story line an content. the rhyme scheme is a little predicable. you know how to ride the beat. ending rhymes are too simple. mainly you gotta work on your emotion and swag. gotta rap like you mean it. maybe your are and it's just the mix but something is missing. i think once you go at it some more and build that confidence you will be solid i see potential it just needs to be polished. not bad keep it up.

please return the favor
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...051#post2823051

*grateful*

'preciate da feedback....................i got ya track..........

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iighty...

Hook - Lacking emotion and feeling, need to fix that right away, lyrics is pretty cool though i like what is said, just not how its said

Cool story tellin type flow, laid back, could have been a lil hyper but thats probably just your flow so its str8 for this typea song. Lyrics are pretty strong rhyme scheme's kinda plain.

Overall its an above average track, just a little more emotion on the hook would make it stronger.

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"Only god can judge me, but I'm atheist so you do the math..."

........preciate da feedback homie........

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'preciate da feedback.............

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Listening trough my usual shit.

I don't understand what a "betrayed metaphor" is. the hook is ehh, i liked them message, just not the packaging. shoulda def recorded another about 2 layers under the hook so it stood out more. your qual is okay, could def take it to a whole new level if you EQ'd your stuff differently. First verse tells a story, so we'll see ho good it is when the story is over. second verse was nice pulled things together cleared up the meta, though differnet word use could have made the track more visual and immersive, felt liek i was listening to someone tell me facts off a list instead of telling me a story i was experiencing in my mind ya dig?

its an okay track. not bad, but didn't floor me either.

uno

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'preciate da feedback apexx.........

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hmmm.....
needs a more laid back swagger for this kinda track. iunno why but i seems like u were reading the lyrics in a few places. nice story though, flow's on point. hook is missin somethin cuz when i first heard it i didnt even realize it was the hook lol it is sorta catchy though. emotion's good, im likin ya delivery. turn down the dubs just a tad bit. besides production is pretty good. not my kinda beat btw but w/e u came nice on it. keep droppin

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What's hot:
Beat, sound like mockingbird beat a lil lol
You got good delivery on this

What's coo:
flow was pretty coo here.
emotion could be upped. like change your pitch on some parts, nah mean?
hook was coo. but I think you should put some effect no it to make it stand out tho
lyrics are nice. I liked this

what's not:
nothing

overall man. I like this. you got good voice for this type of track too. last verse i like the flow a lot. def your best verse. Lyrics tight in it. word @ next time you say rap is weak. overall good shit man. stay up. 8.2/10

RTF:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=233921

EZ

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