Just done it in 25 mins or so. Just getting things out from my inner depths in rawish form, have no wish to change it at present. If you can understand it with my meanings and what not...then i guess i won't be getting any comments from ya...(!)..


Shame about the way you let me go
When i fell into traps of complexities
The web you weave is so harrowing
As once more i rise to the fore of tides
That come with the lion that stalks it's prey
I take not the roar, but the sharp moving claw
Of time and your feelings second by second
Changing from extremes of dying prosperity
I live not in the world you want me to be
For i am anchored in this hard weathered ground
I sometimes escape to clouds far away
To understand myself n the people i play
Digging for the truth, amidst the lies
I throw up more deception to cover mine
I am a player of lifes immortal game
Within an esoteric circle of tangled life
To thrive upon the pawns in dark nights...
Order is seen amid confusing anarchy
By myself the spider, who sets the structure
To lay obtuse paths for hoors to walk upon...

..

Of course I'm going to respond. Who else would? Stinky Peterson? I don't think so.

Anyway, I was reading this doing my DMX impression. Just so y'know. Not that it means anything, I just thought I'd point that out. Also, I'd like to point out I ate two bowls of ice cream last night and half a bag of potato chips.

Vocab was above my level. I had to look up Esoteric, obtuse, and hoors. But I still understand it. Like the last part, you being a spider. That doesn't mean you're creapy crawling, but it means that your laying things out like a spider lays it's web. But the rest of it conflicts in that you speak about being someplace else the whole time.

Oh wait, I get it. Y'know who else is someplace else that's laying out the universe? God. This poem is you trying to say your god! ISN'T IT?! ISN'T IT?!?! Wait... isn't it? No... no, I suppose not. Nevermind. Well, I tried, I was understanding it for a while.

Mo-mentai.

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

^^Heh, well nice to see you got parts of it...luckily you didn't get all of it...('conflicting' parts mainly)...but then again, you'd probably still reply to it...you being darkly n all...

...respecto...

since i see everything to be about relationships and the interaction of people...that's how i took this.
the complexities of a relationship that isn't working out, or not being able to meet each other's needs....
i dunno, that's how i see it

one

WOW!! man VEr didn't u had it in you like this am suprised and impressed Yo ILL PIECE i liked it

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er...i guess in a way, it has some relevance to a 'relationship' of some sorts...but tnot the on you're talking bout...so definetly not the conventional perception..

still, appreciate the comments...

well well well,
i see you still making us think,
ur poems are always thought related .
Deep - powerful - thought triggering illness!

Props, good to see u looken after RB.
Will be checken more of ur work, & maybe posten
some of my own ...


¤DiMe¤

Nice piece kidd, though I am a bit uneasy about the use of too much vocab in poems, it was a nice piece.



My favorites lines that I have read in this piece kidd, flowed nicely and worked the mind. Though the strcuture is a bit fuzzy, the entire piece was brought out good, I wish that there was a bit more imagery behind your piece it was still nice kidd...

love...

Heh, thanks dimeond...

..and Rhombus, thanks too....you're right, this piece has little structure to it...and is very raw and personal....very hard for the reader, which is what i usually do...this more than the usual though...imagery? Dunno about that....anyway, thanks for the comments, 'kid'...(!!!)...*rolls eyes*...heh...

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