this is to dres "the next episode"

close your eyes fo' i get hold of the mic/
judge with your ears and not your eyes i gaurantee you that its somethin youll like/
you need to understand that just cause im white/
doesnt mean that my rymes dont shine like bright light/
with my verbal attack, ill make your pupils contract/
the shit is blinding like flippin a swith in pitch black/
but ill come back to jump on this track, pick up your slack/
and teach a rap lesson wit the skill that you lack
im only seventeen/
and im the best youve seen/
i cant be apprehended so you know my records clean/
im all about the green/
im down for bumpin beans/
but when it comes to shootin up ill leave it for the feinds/
im not a thug i just react like one/
i wouldnt let the tv make me act like one/
but if you wanna fuckin ask i might be backed by one/
i got a million motherfucker youll get slapped by one/
dont you try to stand in my way/
back the fuck up/
bitch you aint got nothin to say/
shut the fuck up/
i thought i told you that i was a killa/
the thrilla in manilla and ill pillage your village just like attila/


it stops abrubtly cause its a work in progress, tell me what ya think so far

its shit in some spots and good in others no one care about you being white them times are done and what is bummpin beans

snorting x

Simplisitic. Simple rhyme, simple vocabulary, simple concept, overall simple. Try more advanced vocabulary, and try and use more thorough concepts. Keep them coming nevertheless, Pz!

I agree with Black Magik... work on making your lyrics less predictable...
'dont you try to stand in my way/
back the fuck up/
bitch you aint got nothin to say/'
I could see that one comin' before I read it... keep elevatin'... peace...

read my other one down a ways on the forum page, thanks for the replies