Dark and dreary i hear clips bein loaded whenever i hear bodies bein floated through the river i just gotta shiver, i ask god every night just ta deliver me from this mess and save me from the stress and lay me down to peace so i can recieve eternal rest...

i go through the streets and see all different colors of gangs stackin new clips in they thangs, the bloods are red, the cryps are blue, shoot someone is all they eva wanna do, but ta WHO?, U'll get shot and nobody gonna know what the hell happened ta u, i got shot in da mouf spit out a molar that shit wasnt pretty but i got a purple heart of war without leavin the city.

I come home walk in, i see my brothers body rottin beside the door, that shit fucked me up right to tha core, only thing that happened is he fucked the wrong whore, had a note attached ta his body that read he shoulda found another way ta score, now all is left is his body on the floor. i dont say this happens every day but its hard to find just the right hoe ta lay.

I found that bastard i killed his lazy ass and found some where to smoke my fine grass, i smoked to my brotha rest in peace, i know ur up there lookin down with my neace...

Lazyflow69-i dont talk shit...my rymes do, ill always be there, like that gum on yo shoe...so show me some feedback or ill take my mutha fuckin weed back, i gave u that shit cheap so wudda u do? nothin, cuz u know me and white pac are the unbeatable crew and thats...

~The Truth?~

dont be afraid to say ur opinion... i wanna know

This Shit is tight... and The way u bring it, u paint a good picture like the details u bring makes it easy 2 pick up.. The ending though U bring so much why end it with that maybe its ur emotions and Im I dont c where u c so.. respect If I had a vote 2 give it would be going to urs over ne thing i put up

WhytPAC?
The Truth

come on dont just view this muther fucka i want some feeedback nigga

uhh. wrong thread jack ass.
moved.

__________________

umm...this don't seem as a poem...so you shoulda posted it up in open mic......but whatever....tell'n the truth....

it's gud you got yo point accross.......6/10

dat shit is tight

nice piece I was feeling dis fo real

Okay, first off....this IS poetry...it's just better suited to be read out in an open mic night or something...

...but nonetheless, it IS poetry...

...okay, so the piece was simple...but had strong meaning behind it...depicting in a simple yet kind of vivid way A vicious circle...this being one of the many vicious circles within one big vicious of 'the ghetto'..even though it can be relevant in any sense (suburbs, countryside...anywhere)..

..so yeah, i dug this piece to an extent..


...weetabix (formerly respect)...