I Think About Life And How Things
Arent ThaWay They're Supposed
Ta Be My Heads Up In Tha Clouds
At Times But Theres A Black One
Over Me My Past Is My Past Im
Past It Dont Ask If I Would Ever
Like To Change Tha Way That
Anythings Happened Life Is A Contest
Ima Consistent Work In Progress
Lookin Forward To A Life Of Lovin
Bomb Sex Not Feelin Worthless
Nothins Better Than Studio Time When
You Rhyme With A Purpose In My Life
If Theres Love Success Is Capable I
State Tha Truth Never Lost It For Music
I Love Everybody But Im Runnin Outta
Kind Phrases My Minds Racin And I
Cant Deny Paience Even Though
Im About To Start Clean Slate And
Im Nervous My Whole World Might Fall
Apart You Could Close Out Tha Curtains

typed qick but not horrible...

hmmmm....and i mean HMMMMMM.....

...it's kind of hard to follow your pieces sometimes, cos your structure seems to be non-existent...i mean you go to a new line without actually finishing the full 'sentence'....therefore fragmenting it to such an extent that it makes it seem a bit stop-start and akward...

...but once you get into it, to an extent, you can fee the piece, with all it's imagery and rawness....and strong usage of vocab....

...but still, it's weird how you put it in such an akward and non-existent structure...

..and also one more thing, why do you start every word with a capital?!....no hate, just asking like...

still, structure and capital letters aside...it was a good piece...

I agree with varentao I think you should finish your line before starting a new one. This piece needs work.

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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

Innocent intentions with great exausperation. That's what I got outta your peice.

I can feel this. I'm assuming the capitol letters are habitual. But the cutting off I can see from a more artistic point of veiw. Anyway, this was straight up raw meat of poetry.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.