The story I wrote that I based this on can be found here. The story aint finished, but this poem is. So enjoy.

~Shalom~ (Shalom is a so much cooler word than Mo-mentai ever was. Don't you think?)

Crucify

~~
Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I wanna spit in there faces, but I'm afraid of what that will bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach, I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Been looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
Raising up my hands, drive another nail in
Just what god needs, one more victim
~~

Just try and crucify, That is if you wanna die
To be hanged high and dry, and to die in the sky
You didn't find it amusing, when that man was abusing
Your body he was using, and your virginity losing
The sex was not consented, Drugs forced you relented
Your body he tormented, no way you could've prevented
This horribe wrong abuse, There was not any excuse
He did not try and seduce, it was rape he introduced
In your heart there resided, the thoughts that decided
After you two collided, you'd be avenged... plain and simple

~~
Got a kick for a dog beggin' for love
I gotta have my suffering, So that I can have my cross
I know a cat named Easter, He says will you ever learn
You're just an empty cage girl, if you kill the brid

I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands Drive another nail in
Got enough guilt to start My own religion
~~

You didn't here what I said, consumed by hatred
The revenge you have crafted, Revenge 'nuff said period
So his life you destroyed, Sent his soul to the void
The evil you deployed, you only seem to of enjoyed
But then you saw your wrong, error of your way
You then tried making right, but to your dismay
But he's dead it's too late, He had met his fate
Your hate would then mutate, your mind would debate
If what you did was right, or if it was wrong
If the ends justifys the means, If you're weak or strong

~
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands, drive another nail in
Where are those angels, when you need them?
~

You could have been stopped, you didn't have to go through with it, only a small moment in time. A lapse of responsibility, a lapse in judgement. Insecurity begot rape and rape begot anger. It was the anger that consumed you and the destruction of his life that had made him take is own. Wrath is a sin. But the sin was not on your mind as you made one act of anger become an entire act of aggression that led to his death that you did not plan. You only wanted him to suffer as he made you suffer but he could not handle it and he took it upon himself to end it all just as you took it upon him. Twice the suffering, but the guilt is all yours.

Never going back again, crucify myself again
I've been soaking in sin, I'm not so innocent
Never going back again, crucify myself again
I've been soaking in sin, I'm not so innocent

__________________

Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

this poem was coo...ive neva seen this kind of poetry done...so i kinda expected more outta it from you...ya vocab was basic...but i was feelin ya topic...the way you played wit ya words waddnt that great....i thought you woulda came wit somethin more captivating....nah mea...was coo though

holla

one...hunnet

__________________
freelance

RN Vs RB WAR!!....yr 2000...vet~~YEA I SAID VET!! WHAT YOU WANT ME TO PROVE IT? STEP THEN YOU FUCKING HOMO'S

Aye...this was most definetly a raw yet well 'turned' (or should i say 'churned'?!) out piece...

...the simplicity of some of the ways you formulated it only masked the slightly complex, but certainly in depth piece that is was...

....i really like how you played on the topic though....reveresing it in the end to hit the other way....showing the lesson "two wrongs dont make a right" (well most of the time they don't)...and the importance of forgivness (even though one must search deep inside for that, but a primary indication of forgivness would hold good steed till then...)...well those, amongst other things...

...done with your usual dark and gritty imagery and overall 'essence' if you would...

...anyway, i liked it...a lot....good structure...strong-ish vocab used to good effect....and the overall execution being very good...

....respect...