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Old 03-16-03, 08:49 PM   #1
Whytpac
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Posts: 38
From: Dayton, Ohio
Another Day Gone

IP:

Dont Hate on this one for what u dont understand.

Another Day Gone

Another day gone and another soul lost.
With the absence of his love he leave hole an unbearable cost.

He was Brave and he fought for what was right.
Because of his drive I can write of him tonight.
To me , he was more then just a hero from a bloddy war.
But a fan & a friend some one who was there.
But now he is gone and he leaves many in great despair.
You touched so many with your love and Joy.
you treated me like I was your son your boy.
You came into my life touched it and left, leaving a great impression
But now you are gone and pain is here a mighty depression.

But you left a cure with me.
You left me nothing but great memories.
You were always at my games.
Without you now I will fell the pain,
But I know you will always be there.
I know you love and your care.

I will miss you.

Another day lost and you are gone.
But through all who knew you, your legacy live on

With Love 2 Charlie a Lost love one

Whytpac? The Truth?

Show me some love

Last edited by Whytpac : 03-17-03 at 07:37 PM.
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Old 03-23-03, 08:39 PM   #2
Whytpac
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Posts: 38
From: Dayton, Ohio
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People quite viewin and not givinme feedback
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Old 03-23-03, 10:27 PM   #3
Orikle
.BeTteR ThAn YoO!.
 
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Posts: 1,167
From: Sydney
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Yo pac, this shit is deep, I'm sure most can realte to this shit, most cats lost someone close to em, can't disagree with anything written from the heart yo, but on a rappin level it was not bad, yo rhmed very well in the big/main verse but then u lost the rhymes a little in the 3rd verse, anyway dogg, its nice, keep it up!

Peace Out Yo!!!!
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Old 03-24-03, 02:30 AM   #4
inspire
.-.Marxism.-.
 
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From: Lexington
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i was short but alright... something like that i think needs to be a little bit longer... try writing a few more verses to express how much you really do feel... keep rhymin
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