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Old 03-17-03, 06:10 PM   #1
Kosta
Sand
 
Posts: 1,572
The Silent Cries.

IP:

her sobs were low and only the walls could hear.
in her room alone her mind was scattered and unclear.
what happened here she felt pain were she couldnt bear.
tears encased her face and fears were eyes that stared.
no one cared or noticed let alone asked what happened.
only saw her eyes with the waters and handed her the napkin.
behind backs they were laughin' if only they knew what happened.

it was a stormy day and my mother was out of town.
my father was at work i listened to rains solemn sounds.
as drops hit the ground i sat intensely nervously itchin.
dreading the sound of my fathers diesel trucks engine.
for the tires schreechin and his headlights blinking.
for my father wasnt at work. the bastard was out drinking.
i sat thinking wondering debating how he would hold his actions.
fuck the people laughing. for this is what sadly happened.

he opened the door and slammed it shut with force.
"you are just like your mother! you stinking bitch whore!"
my tears only enraged him more then he hit me.
closed fist my mind turned to lights of the city.
i fell sobbing and the rug itched my back very bad.
"why are you doing this!? your suppose to be a dad!"
he got atop me and i could sense the alchohol in his breath.
he undressed i screamed "fuck i wish i was dead!"
"fuck you you whore im sick of your bitchy lying"
i shrieked with pain as my father entered inside me.
it felt like dying he pumped him self with out a cease.
"stop please!" i shrieked for a moment he released.
but then back again and he continued sour like a lemon.
and then he came out and erupted with his venom.
right on my face i was disgusted and emotionally dead.
he said something but i disregarded what he said.
then he left and here i am only crying to these walls.
no one listens and if they did no one would care at all.

i must have fell asleep becuase then i woke up.
must have been crying because my eyes were swoll shut.
hold up what happened? my father is sitting in my room.
his expression is happy while mine is filled with gloom.
"what happened alicia youve been sweating all night.
and it seems like you had a bad dream because all night you cried."
"and this morning im going to slow you down and ease your pain
all my thoughts collapsed as a fist then hit my brain.
damn then i felt the bullet hit my head from this disgrace of a man.
and i layed bleeding with the gun in my hand.


police report:

16 year old girl had sex, got pregnant and killed herself.

reality:

16 year old girl raped and killed by her father.


now you know.
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Old 03-17-03, 06:42 PM   #2
Phrantik
Kevin Brown
 
Posts: 1,182
From: Canada.
IP:

long but worth reading.
flow fell off at points but this was an overall excellent drop.
very deep, and emptional, saddening to read.
very controversial but it was an excellent piece.
by the way, demise... you a guy or a girl?
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Old 03-17-03, 06:52 PM   #3
Kosta
Sand
 
Posts: 1,572
IP:

im a guy. just being open minded and original.
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Old 03-18-03, 11:44 AM   #4
Alias-C
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IP:

Yo man, this probably one of the deepest posts I've ever read here... I mean I know it ain't personal cause you a guy, but still I saw alot of emotion in this, no holds bars, no censorship, just raw and real... kinda of a hard topic to read about, but the strong messege is one people should know about...

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Old 03-19-03, 10:42 PM   #5
Baysick
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IP:

Great piece man, lotta depth and creativity
Nice wording and choice at specific point
Flow was pretty good, but its text
This would make for a nice track if worder better for flow
Good drop really felt it man
Holla at me, you elevatin all the time..

eD
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Old 03-20-03, 06:59 PM   #6
Kosta
Sand
 
Posts: 1,572
IP:

most definatly...upping
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Old 03-20-03, 07:35 PM   #7
MTclips
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IP:

shit was def deep. nice flow and topic.
liked some shit more than other shit but altogether this was solid
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Old 03-21-03, 01:53 PM   #8
Kosta
Sand
 
Posts: 1,572
IP:

upping.
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Old 03-21-03, 01:55 PM   #9
~RuThLEss~
WarLord
 
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Posts: 1,518
From: Ganja Heaven!!!
IP:

SHIT wus deep yo i felt the bars....but long as hell like the fool said it wus worth reading.....Yo peep my shit ~The Future~
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Old 03-26-03, 12:40 AM   #10
Kosta
Sand
 
Posts: 1,572
IP:

upping . looking for a breakdown on this one. thx.
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Old 03-27-03, 01:29 AM   #11
Kosta
Sand
 
Posts: 1,572
IP:

up. need breakdown! thx
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Old 03-27-03, 11:27 PM   #12
Kosta
Sand
 
Posts: 1,572
IP:

my god! could someone fucking break this down for me?!
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Old 03-28-03, 03:09 PM   #13
KnightShade
LowerTown's Finest
 
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Posts: 692
From: Canada
IP:

This drop was very emotional, makes a nigga wana cry.

great use of words in this piece, everything flipped correctly.

Quote:
her sobs were low and only the walls could hear.
in her room alone her mind was scattered and unclear.
what happened here she felt pain were she couldnt bear.
tears encased her face and fears were eyes that stared.
no one cared or noticed let alone asked what happened.
only saw her eyes with the waters and handed her the napkin.
behind backs they were laughin' if only they knew what happened.

it was a stormy day and my mother was out of town.
my father was at work i listened to rains solemn sounds.
as drops hit the ground i sat intensely nervously itchin.
dreading the sound of my fathers diesel trucks engine.
for the tires schreechin and his headlights blinking.
for my father wasnt at work. the bastard was out drinking.
i sat thinking wondering debating how he would hold his actions.
fuck the people laughing. for this is what sadly happened.


great opener, really was.. i read it all and as i kept reading it, it drew me in wanting to read till it was finished, Night. i gotta hand it to you, you layed down a very good drop here son. 10/10 keep up this good shit look forward to reading more of your master pieces.
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Old 03-28-03, 06:36 PM   #14
kmfrob
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IP:

this was horrible and i dont mean the rhyme but the feeling u conjured up inside of me. serious this really affected me u got down exactly the right feeling for a sick topic like this. the rhyme was good but to be honest cos of the topic i felt like i was reading a newspaper account or sumthin. but serious this is a tight piece hope it dont get slept on. No real criticisms ya vocab was aight and the flow was nice in general.
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Old 04-07-03, 02:03 PM   #15
Kosta
Sand
 
Posts: 1,572
IP:

up.....its been a minute
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