Commin home moms be yellin tellin of how fukced up and stupid

you are/ Askin if you high eveytime you come by say it dont matta

how hard your try you aint neva gonna betta then the next guy

quit lookin towards the sky/ your grades is bad and i''m just glad

that you the only fuck up i ever had/fuck this i'm leavin stayin

hear and makin me belivin that life will be different the next day/

get in and shut the door of homies 1974 cadilac almdivore/ lets

go somewhere far away from this fucked up and drunken life I

dont need this bitch even if it were different and we were rich

what the fuck.............you did it again son............that shit was wack

well your tryna tell a story but you havent quiet found the beat in your head

you need to elevate... work on vocab, rhyme scheme, structure... i couldnt see some rhymes in there... the ones i saw took forever to get to... work on it... keep rhymin

yeah man, your bars were definitely a bit too long, too long for it to flow... this was pretty simple too... should work on that vocab and wordplay...
Concept wasn't bad at all though... keep working on it man

Peace