yo yo yo

This pen has been grafted to my hand/
My metaphors to yours is like a truck to a sedan/
illiterate written or even written illliterate/
a wrist that cant seem to quit/
i spit till your sick of it/
sick till you spit on it/
then i go back and read all it/
and im confused to till i shit on it/
my rhymes arent good at all/
how can i hit writers block if i cant get to the wall/
im always stuck in a stall/
basic vocabulary puts me in a hault/
ill end up deleting it all/

my best friend is always showin me the rhymes hes written/
there good to the point till im like fuck it im quitten/
i dont need your pity dawg just tell me i should stop spittin/
cuz all my shit is erased then rewritten/
i never know when to start a new bar/
or what to rhyme with next, its usually as simple as 'car'/
shit i dont have any flow, my flow is runnin from me/
knowing it will be embarrased when i expose it to thee/
please dont show sympathy/ or even give me pity/
cuz yall shouldnt expect anything from me/
cuz im just a guy who plays world class tennis/
so i dont expect any uppins after youve read this/
nick this is for you man, ive givin you props/
on how you drop this shit always comin off hot/
im stumped....

alright...

i guess im wont get any responds....
man fuck i critique your shit...
i dont care if im good or not

i guess im wont get any responds....
man fuck i critique your guy's shit...
i dont care if im good or not

i think your first one was better. this one is a little sketchy. good vocab though.

are you talking about demented lyrics

ha ha ha. Shit...I know a lot of what your talking about in this. I like, I like, I like.


I love it when those things are done...that was good.


Again, dope.


Fucking aye to that...

ha! so true.

haha, damn...well, I must say...you have major potential.

Let me guess, you come up with a line, and the way you get the next line is to pick the rhyming word and make a line out of it?...well thats what I do...

nah it aint that bad. ya second verse worked better than ya first one. Ya had better multies in the first but it just diddnt really work. like ys said yaself u gotta improve ya vocab and just use sum different rhyme schemes to make it more interesting. still its better than alot of the shit ive read today. anyway return the favour cuz check mine shinobi life aight peace

this is seriously one of ur better drops
I think u show a great deal of potential in it
I really like reading ur crap dogg
cuz Ive seen u grow (lyrically) from
the days of hump a goat on boat....
to really puting ur feelings on a piece of paper
and spitting it in a way that can be easily understand
I dont know if ur kidding about quittin
but if u do I will kick ur ass, cuz I know how much
u enjoy doin it and dont worry about how others sound
just compare urself to urself
anyways see ya tomorrow g

thanx home bro...

Fuck. I absolutely love you. I thought I was the only one runnin around here confused as hell and messin shit up. For all those mad vocab folks: FUCK YOUUUUU! Eminem's the worlds most successful rapper and his strength isn't vocab...its multi's and flow.

Your shit's great. From now on whenever I see your name attached to somethin, I'm readin it.

favorite line: shit i dont have any flow, my flow is runnin from me/

yeah, this is a good piece...kind like tha Rodney Dangerfield of rap...keep spittin'....

like ur style and way u word ur sentences
'illiterate written or even written illliterate' that sort of shit is dope
keep it up