i am alone-noone see's me,
the only thing i hear is my own breath,
its what i smell. I cant be free, i'm a slave in my own world- paranoia daily,
i feel hurt-low self esteem,
I don't know whats wrong,
i dream in a world filled with darkness and hate,
my own world,
somethings wrong-- what is it?
!I should feel better!

hey im new to this poetry shit, give me yo honest oppinions and tell me what i need to work on

what the fuck is this nigga talkin bout

wack nigga "im relaxing" hell naw

that was aiight..its simple but it would be better if u be more decriptive and try to use some more vocabs and it would also help if ya rhyme some of it....well in poetry u aint have to rhyme all the time but in majorities they do...keep onit...

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

aight thanks man for ya honesty

i really understood it man it was coo...keep droppin 'em

Lyric-you have no sense of poetry...stop tryin to bash on someones flow-do that elsewhere--aint no one talkin 'ish about you and your flow

X yo shyt was coo..jus elevate mo and go into mo description-your last line came abruptly and could have gone into deeper perspection..ya know

fashow dawg

...Life is a battlefield-use your words not swords...-SC

huh, why is this nigga lyc talking, but for the people who gave me posotive feedback aight thanks alot yall, i appreciate yall's honesty

Umm just keep tryin u already let it be known that u were knew which already knocs you down a bit people are gonna expect "less" but next time when you come come with some emotion, power, statements something that'll catch somebody's attention.....just keep doin whatcha do
*~Holler~*

aight coo thanks man

hey X dont listen to that ghetto fool lyric he lacks tastefulness in so many catagories. As for your written i enjoyed i think you have an idea of what makes good poetry keep working with it and some really nice work will come from it.

-1-

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

That nigga lyc'dic' don't know what he is saying...where is some new ish--i know your all into that battleboard ish but in order to improve yo poetry flow spit it once in a while...holla--i am gonna write a new one asap

X-aka FREEPOSTIN NIGGA FROM THE BELLOZ