RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 04-05-03, 11:33 AM   #1
GrAn THeF
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
something new of top of the dome

IP:

anyone that ever been homeless will understand this and feel it more then those kids who drive their brand new benz!!

Im walkin down this empty street on the roam//
Thinken bout the deciete that made me lose my home//
Now im ready to fall asleep in these woods all alone//
Staring into the campfire like a lifeless drone//
I want to get stoned, juss to forget that im a bum//
Why the fuck did i have to be so FUCKIN DUMB//
ahhh I couldnt take that shit no more//
I had to leave, so i walked right out the fuckin door//
Man i was only 14 years old//
Maybe i should have juss done what i was told.
NO i dont listen to anyone u say its silver, i say gold//
But was it worth sleepin in the woods under news papers//
worried everynight about wakin up to murders or rapist//
man i gotta exscape this, but im to deep in a dark mist//
Where is my shining light to surpass this//
Will I ever live in a house again//
or will i go night to night, sleepin in woods or at friends//
My story wont have a happy end//
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-05-03, 11:34 AM   #2
GrAn THeF
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

this shit was juss a freestyle so it wasnt my best work but good for a freestyle (i think) lemme know
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-05-03, 12:11 PM   #3
.:FiorZ:.
.:Smoke Herbs:.
 
.:FiorZ:.'s Avatar
 
Posts: 974
From: England
IP:

That was good for a freestyle. i dont think that the lines
ahhh I couldnt take that shit no more//
I had to leave, so i walked right out the fuckin door// work
if you take the comma out, it will work cos the comma slows down the flow. The top line is too short to be able to add a comma. It has a good meanin though. i felt it.

Fiori
Send a message via AIM to .:FiorZ:. Send a message via MSN to .:FiorZ:.   Reply With Quote
Old 04-05-03, 04:45 PM   #4
InFiNiTe_22
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

im not one to say whats good or bad, but that shit was tight , yo i can relate, i wasnt homeless but i live in a shity ass place w/ my mom my girl, my son, my gun, and this laptop, shit im only 14
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-05-03, 10:52 PM   #5
C-Section
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

this was nice, almost didnt seem like it was off the dome, the only part i didnt like was

"Why the fuck did i have to be so FUCKIN DUMB//
ahhh I couldnt take that shit no more//
I had to leave, so i walked right out the fuckin door//"

i it wasnt as good as the rest of it and the "fuckin" just seemed to be in there at random, i dont like random cusswords but if thats your style do it and keep elevating.

BTW thanks for the replys to mine.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-06-03, 01:58 AM   #6
Kosta
Sand
 
Posts: 1,572
IP:

myk is an asshole.
__________________
[ Word for Word ]

Kevin. Alex. Patrick. John.
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:38 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.