Sadaam likes penis...and so its been said ~
he was caught in the white house giving 'W' Head ~
george was excited and he started to cum ~
farted and yawned while sadaam got it all over his tongue ~
He zipped up and giggled with Sadaam on his knees ~
Sadaam said..."how about Colin Powell? is he hung? can i see? ~
well bush got jealous and he started to cuss ~
and the iraqi got pissed while he gargled and fussed ~
he said "Georgie, ya know i love ya, but ya anger's immense...
its just a blowjob" "yea but it doesnt make any sense" ~
you see, W was angry so now he's starting a war ~
all because sadaam didnt like that he farted and snored ~
pardon the gore ~ but Sadaam's heart isnt in this ~
cuz they found George Bush's semen when he went to the dentist

lol wateva it disses sadaam
*shrugs*

that was funny as fuk kid yo saddam sucin dic like a lil tric

that shit was fuckin funny, i got 2 ive ya sum props on that piece

soilder22

That was funny but whack. I mean, I relize it wasn't intended to be a spectacualr peice but it was still pretty basic, and I'm not hating, just critisizing so you can improve. To me the flow sounded like a nursery rhyme. the way the bars were set up, you rhymed one word at the end of every line, and you used that word once.. what I mean is

Sadaam likes penis...and so its been said ~
he was caught in the white house giving 'W' Head ~
george was excited and he started to cum ~
farted and yawned while sadaam got it all over his tongue ~

Said - Head, Cum - Tounge.. one sylable basic rhyme style. I havn't dropped a verse ina while so I having trouble with my flow right now but I used to always used multi-sylable rhymes.. I never rhyme just one sylable words, anything sounds tight if you use multisylable rhymes

It don't matter who I battle, I'm always spitting-faster/
I rip hard core emcees, you struggle with Skittles-wrappers(rappers)/

Spittin-faster - Skittles-wrappers(rappers) Multisylable. Plus a little word play. not bad for a thirtsy second key. :-P haha. I hope that all that shit I just wrote helps, don' take it the wrong way though. Everyone needs improvment.. Me especially.. Just a little cnstrucktive crittisim
PeaCe
~Out

Looking forward to out battle, I am pretty much done with my verse, I'll probably drop it within the hour. Peace

uppin 4 sum more replies