yo this is my first poem..
would help if u guys tell me what ya think


So what up?, think you’re cool? Think I suck?
This is straight from the heart
Don’t really know were to start
Sick of mutherfuckers discriminating
Can’t walk on the streets without getting some hating
Its frustrating,,, my patience is fading
Someday my head will explode, Overdosis on Tylenol.
Cant walk on da streetz without my gun…”load”
Its time to see the other side of the coin
Hope with this I can make my point
I’ve been humiliated, badly rated, discriminated
I cant believe how I’ve manage to made it.
And all for not being white or black
For being latin, you say, nothing but crap
Well fuck all who think like that
Like u I love to rap
But for doing it I have to carry a huge burden on my back
That shit makes a sound in ma soul…and that sound is : “crack”
Half white – half black… shit I’m fucked
Sadly the world’s divided in two
And we don’t belong to either group
Like for being born I’ve become a sinner
Mom works all day long but her wallet keeps getting thinner
Shit I’m just a beginner
But what I say I feel, what I say I get out
What I get out makes me cleaner
Damn it’s the 21rst century..
How can there still be haters? It’s a fucking mystery
Not so often a trip a day
But when I do, your bullshit comments… take that feeling away..
Scared that someday I might be carried away
Do some crazy shit and with an AK make you all pay..
But I don’t wanna fight
Nor make ya feel untight
But fuck I had to say it
And it had to be tonight


peace,
panamARed

tell what ya'll think..

ya piece was cool dawg just as long as u express ya self thats all that matters

Title drew me in, but the words kept me reading. This was long, but it was worth reading. You were just spilling out truthful pains of the heart and I can feel it.

Y'know, I'm half white too. But all in all I consider myself white. For two reasons. One, I look white and everyone around me looks white. And two, because despite whatever you hear about America being a melting pot or the land of the free and all that crap, white people just get plain treated better than everyone else. Unless you're like... some stupid white guy who thinks he's black and you're from Malibu and everyone wants you. I think I'm going to hate that movie.

Wow did I go off topic. Anyway, great poem, keep dropping.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

thanx man... I know what i am and i aslo know the truth about america and how people are treted..and it just shouldn't be that way..
well anyways thanks for replying..

peace

i dont know why but poetry is not taken seriously into account in this forum..everyone is just concentrated in battling and shit and most of rapbattle.com 's MCs dont give a fuck bout poetry...
that shit sucks ...

uppin for some words

can i get some feedback on this shit?

ur shit was pre' good

raw, sharp and to the point...

...vented well, really well....could see you put ya soul into this for sure, the darker, angrier side...

....nothigng else so say, but..

...resp...

deep shit dog

that shit was hot dawg, ifeel ya cuz im latino too, ya know

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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

not my typical liking but i mean in retrospect to most emcees this is what they do so respect on that--

Keep writing

growth is a promise with persistency

Check some of my work out when you get the chance---

-1-

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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

thanx yall

i enjoyed this thread