i want them to hear me, dont want em to have sorrow
dont give a fuck about the past ,im lookin at tommorow.........

Sittin here goin crazy wit my mind blank
i gotta headache from all the gin i just drank ,sit here and wonder why we're put upon this earth
cause i been cursed w/ this curse
since the day of my damn birth
my ma cant stand me, cant even look at my damn face
same shit every day, my life is a fuckin discrace
somtimes i wanna leave and vanish w/ out a trace
cryin every night, waitin on ladyluck, just waitin to embrace
my flesh burns, i cant breathe, my mind stuck in its own humidity
i chug this empty fuckin bottle to forget my damn stupidity
i can be fucked up as hell, but i keep my nobility
my father,huh dont even bring him in da story
he took away my only chance, he took my damn glory
after awhile feelin sorry for myself just began to bore me
now i dont give a fuck he walked & slammed the door before me
see i done seen the gates of hell, but im still livin life
see i held on to the lords hands, and i held on tight
i want them to feel me, dont want em to have sorrow
dont give a fuck about the past, im lookin at tommorow......

c'mon yall sleepin ur wat, if u read this then please hit me back

"my flesh burns, i cant breathe, my mind stuck in its own humidity
i chug this empty fuckin bottle to forget my damn stupidity"

I like that in fact, i like a lot of ur lines in hear
this is ur best that ive ever read, its too bad its gettin slept on
cuz i think alot of peeps woul like it

uppin'

peep my peace with no brainer i think we could collab you got skillz that'a obvious

uppin,

c'mon yall hit me back, im dyin to hear wat yall think..

You're flow seems kinda forced in some of the lines but overall you've got a good rhythm and continuity. you seem to be pushing the same rhyme scheme for a couple lines too long. all in all though, you've got skills

yeah, i meant to have " sit here and wonder why we're put on this earth" a whole line but i fucked up, thx everyone 4 writin, expect more of me....

those were nice lines, right there, great metaphor. At least I hope it was a metaphor....Anyway, great piece right there, I was really feelin it.

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

uppin

my father,huh dont even bring him in da story
he took away my only chance, he took my damn glory
after awhile feelin sorry for myself just began to bore me

i was feelin those lines. flow was hott. i think u need to werk on ur vocab but overall it was tight