back on outta here, i burst with sheer
lyrical sweetness that you fear from here, to there
its a miracle that you lived through that rape from a polar bear
all you do is sit there n stare permenantly scared
because you dared to face the glare
forever chasin where you want to go and dont care
with an eskimo next to you blowing his nose in his hand
and wipin it off in his hair, or your hair for that laughter
could cause a spinal disaster in which your vertebrae raptures
im turning you gray like i was spinning you backwards
after that your hit with a handful of cannibals faster
than a strapped animal with no back, your laughable
i kick the dumb spine one time

You need to tighten your verse up....you are all over the place!!!

Fix yourself on one simple concept and think about it....describe it.....use big words.....we like that


Oh, and you need to make more sense out of everything. This battle rhyme (to begin with, battle rhymes are somewhat pointless because they are just random disses to an invisible opponent) makes absolutely no sense. I mean, when did I get raped by a polar bear? Why are Eskimos around me? I mean, it is a chilly year this year, but it's not that cold where I live.
Start working on flowing one line into the other and remain on topic. If you must insist on using battle rhymes and decide that is your specialty, then at least make sense out of it. Think before you write and things will get better.

Remember, it doesn't happen overnight. Years and years go into this process.

yeyer foreal muhthugga know what hes on,dont give in to the shit edub,just keep elevating

jus tone thing cat,wheres the goose at??

LOL i love you fools. being keyed is like being intoxicated, and the goose, well that would be whatever your are intoxicating yourself with =P that shit was far from serious poetry, but i hear whatchersayin