man i spit so good looking like i commited a crime/poeple trying 2 excuse me of being busta WITH MORE ryhmes/but im only a 13ad {habbit} thats how i do/ man stop trying 2 bust boi its hurting u/im the new kid on the block here in the site/i c u over there bustin on me tryin 2 bite/ but every time i get u on its the lock down/u sound like a broke down snoop dowg wit out the sound/bring u bac turn ur rymhes ^ side down /now im not only new im here for u now giv it a holla/im leaaving strollin poppin my colla

.........hey yeo that was jus a preview dogg i can do more but im jus wurmin ^..iight so yeo giv me the 411!

u need to work on dis ,,, its really whack ,, i wasnt feelin it , , , and dont type ur verse in paragraph form , , , elevate dawg ,, elevate ,, ur lyrics are too simple

lotta work needed, ive heard those rhymes a million times..... not too original yo

yo habbit ! this is sway ur brother u needa lil werk ! jus hit me uip

thanx yeo thats wut i wanted here somegood criticism.....but hey yeo.....there is a lil more 2 where that snack come from so ummm phillis phinest wit me ^ and some poeplez giv me a holla!

you should have structured it like this

man i spit so good looking like i commited a crime/
poeple trying 2 excuse me of being busta WITH MORE ryhmes/
but im only a 13ad {habbit} thats how i do/
man stop trying 2 bust boi its hurting u/
im the new kid on the block here in the site/
i c u over there bustin on me tryin 2 bite/
but every time i get u on its the lock down/
u sound like a broke down snoop dowg wit out the sound/
bring u bac turn ur rymhes ^ side down /
now im not only new im here for u now giv it a holla/
im leaaving strollin poppin my colla


your whole verse is wack you should post this in the wackness center people will help you there. you have no flow and the topic is played. dont rap about being the best unless you are.

keep elevating though dont quit,