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Old 05-13-03, 06:50 AM   #1
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From: Aussie Hip Hop
Round 1 first open mic so dont hate

IP:

As you talk yourself up to slow as i break you in 8 places/
Murderous instincts as if i wanted to vacate the races/
Dissapear as you search for me i switch places/
lyrically sock you in the eye fall to the ground groan and make faces/
Your egos dammaged you pride........... totally smashed/
Nuthin compared to whats left of youre self esteem level......Totally mashed
Stand more chance of a homosexual wearin pink outside of kings cross hh ha .....totally bashed/
Im a 100pecent real mcoy youre a 100 pecent carbon copy its like real milk stackin up to soya soy......
Needs work just started on it no haters. This is my first open mic
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Old 05-13-03, 06:55 AM   #2
tRiLL
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haha liked the milk bit
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Old 05-13-03, 07:28 AM   #3
Street Smartz
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IP:

not to bad for your first openmic post...but u have the same problem I have 1. u lacked vocab and wordplay and it was to short...try turning a few of them lines into multis..but it was still a good drop no doubt
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Old 05-13-03, 07:39 AM   #4
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IP:

THANKS i dropp a l;onger one soon wit better vocab
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Old 05-13-03, 09:06 AM   #5
Atetrack define'
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sounds good,i didnt mind what im seeing here treach,where you been at if this your first open if you got 400 somethign posts?audio or something?...oh my bad i saw the battle records,so i guess you a battle cat haha...i liked the milk part,shit wass funny...lookin out for the longer peice dun....
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Old 05-13-03, 09:12 AM   #6
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nice work treach, this is the first piece I've ever seen from you (including battles). you should elevate vocab and such as people above me said, and you should try to write something that isn't a battle verse, something more meaningful and original.
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Old 05-14-03, 02:44 AM   #7
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From: Aussie Hip Hop
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thanks i got a ppice comin
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Old 05-14-03, 06:30 AM   #8
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too short, if its that short it should be ill as hell man...its like blueprint and blueprint two less should have way better quality...what matters is quality or quantity, so if its that short come ill
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