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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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05-13-03, 06:50 AM
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#1
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Middle Weight
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Round 1 first open mic so dont hate
IP:
As you talk yourself up to slow as i break you in 8 places/
Murderous instincts as if i wanted to vacate the races/ Dissapear as you search for me i switch places/ lyrically sock you in the eye fall to the ground groan and make faces/ Your egos dammaged you pride........... totally smashed/ Nuthin compared to whats left of youre self esteem level......Totally mashed Stand more chance of a homosexual wearin pink outside of kings cross hh ha .....totally bashed/ Im a 100pecent real mcoy youre a 100 pecent carbon copy its like real milk stackin up to soya soy...... Needs work just started on it no haters. This is my first open mic
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Soft focus Whats the point of living? The voices in my head Feat. Rule Unlikely Alias More Comming soon! |
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05-13-03, 06:55 AM
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#2
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Guest
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IP:
haha liked the milk bit
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05-13-03, 07:28 AM
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#3
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Guest
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IP:
not to bad for your first openmic post...but u have the same problem I have 1. u lacked vocab and wordplay and it was to short...try turning a few of them lines into multis..but it was still a good drop no doubt
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05-13-03, 07:39 AM
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#4
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Middle Weight
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IP:
THANKS i dropp a l;onger one soon wit better vocab
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Soft focus Whats the point of living? The voices in my head Feat. Rule Unlikely Alias More Comming soon! |
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05-13-03, 09:06 AM
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#5
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Guest
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IP:
sounds good,i didnt mind what im seeing here treach,where you been at if this your first open if you got 400 somethign posts?audio or something?...oh my bad i saw the battle records,so i guess you a battle cat haha...i liked the milk part,shit wass funny...lookin out for the longer peice dun....
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05-13-03, 09:12 AM
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#6
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IP:
nice work treach, this is the first piece I've ever seen from you (including battles). you should elevate vocab and such as people above me said, and you should try to write something that isn't a battle verse, something more meaningful and original.
One
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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05-14-03, 02:44 AM
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#7
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Middle Weight
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IP:
thanks i got a ppice comin
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Soft focus Whats the point of living? The voices in my head Feat. Rule Unlikely Alias More Comming soon! |
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05-14-03, 06:30 AM
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#8
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Registered User
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IP:
too short, if its that short it should be ill as hell man...its like blueprint and blueprint two less should have way better quality...what matters is quality or quantity, so if its that short come ill
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