Laying in my bed thinking about you,
im alone and bored theres nothing else to do/
I write you a letter or some poetry,
but they never can capture the emotions running through me/
No-one else knows they cant relate,
how real is my love- how true are my feelings they wanna debate/
But i just close my eyes and re-enter my world try to visualise,
your cheeky grin or your soft blue eyes,
the feel of your seductive touch shivers down my spine,
sometimes feels so real it ends in cries/
I fear these thoughts so real in my mind,
there so vivid and real i want them there all the time/
Ive been in this dream land ever since you left,
these stored memories i can re-enter that i kept/
Im frozen in these memories its all i have,
till the day you get back its all im going to have/

nice poem...
good similies and personification...
I really like how u used the name of the poem in the last few lines of the poem good shit.!

Thanx..

xXx

i like it because we know what you're talking about, but we can still find a way to make it relate to us - it could be about missing someone who isn't around - or it could be about missing someone who died and you just can't grip their gone. it can work on many levels. i liked it kid.

Neit Night... hahahaha ah.. uh.. nevermind. Sorry. Bad joke... in fact... real bad joke. Worse than my usual bad jokes.

Anyway, about the peice you wrote. Amazing. Seriously. It's like when you care about somebody so much and you just wish you were there and if you think about them and remember them hard enough you can almost get that same feeling you have when your actually with that person. But it's like no matter how much brain power you got real memorys aint nothing compared to the real thing of being with that person you want to be with. And you seriously know how that feels and you seriously know how to write it down.

Just one small problem with your poem... I don't have blue eyes.

~Shalom~

__________________

Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

hehe, they looked blue to me, but i wasnt really look at ur eyes hehe

Thanx u got at all jam packed in one!!

Pz xXx

i never thought youd write a poem about my dick/next time instead of blue ill paint my balls firey red hahahahahahahahah thanx

^ huh?

thas a reel hot piece. its deep and filled with emotion, but at tha same time everyone can relate to it some way. even if u cant find a way that it applies to u, u can still understand and feel wat ur sayin. great post.

Ay Dime..
Let me just say, I havent seen you post too much in a while, but you have REALLY elevated n come a long way with your writing.
I was feelin this piece a lot, like Wolf said, its easy to relate to and u really captured the whole essence of what it is to miss and need someone.

>But i just close my eyes and re-enter my world try to visualise,
your cheeky grin or your soft blue eyes,
the feel of your seductive touch shivers down my spine,
sometimes feels so real it ends in cries

Really . Im proud of you. Shit was pretty nice. You've come a long way. Im lookin forward to see more from you. Stay up and keep droppin em! Peep my shit if you got time gyrl.
Pz n propz.

Thanx Gurl.
^ Means alot!!

xXx