yo, yo

have u ever felt alone, ever needed a home, ever felt like ur whole life just broke apart like a bone
its just insane how in a second u go from being happy stairght to sadness and pain
as i step up to the mic i begin to explain, it begins to rain and i dissappear into nothin, like david blain
livin life day by day,wit nothing to say, its just how it is, u just waste ur life away
the rich, and the poor, only hell settles the score, after ur life is over, u still ask for more. but instead u get nothing in return. u live life for so long and the u burn, in the, eternal flame, live life without fear of death but fear that no one will remeber ur name, its all the same like many, forgotten souls who went about life never knowin their roles in this corrupt world, u are hurled into a dark hole, eventually all ur fears and worrys begin to take thier toll, its like no one cares bout despairs, music blares in the distance but no ones there to hear it, many take thier life for granted,becuz they fear it and before u know it, life slips away without saying goodbye and its your own choice if u wanna live or u want to die

steppin in and out of shadows, runnin out of time people think that its a crime if u be speakin in rhyme
if u agree, u cant see and u probably blind, but thats what haters do, the pull a curtain over ur eyes so the choice aint up to u, and i dont have a clue as to why, people try to let true lyricists die, so much shit in this world just makes u wanna break and cry but u cant cuz in a instant everything becoms distant, and out of reach, musicians like myself were put on earth to teach, tell stories, and educate illiterate but normal people are the slaves and the others confederates, no equalty, follow me to reality and u will see what it is to be an MC

so ur only choice, is to realize..

all this shit goin its not an iluzion of ur eyes,
its true nothing nobody can do
mellow lyrics floatin over waves to pass th info on to u
leaving haters with a clue, its the only thing to do

if u want to stay alive and survive in this world alone n my lyrics ur a flown, to a better place, one with a steady pace, but when ur gone, hardly anyone will rmeebr ur face

and its a disgrace how a race can have so much hate, towards each other, theres a lesson to life, treat every person like a brother live like its your last day, cuz it just may, be, hopefully, now u see thanx to me
PEACE

This was Nice dawg , , juss work on ur vocab a lil bit , , , return da favour http://63.219.149.14/forum/showthre...&threadid=47654

that's some deep shit there dogg, you plannin on puttin it to a beat and audioing it? and what the fuck? i had to put this to 100 characters? damn

it begins to rain and i dissappear into nothin, like david blain
^^like....

aiight to the verse,i was feelinwhat you were sayin,you got a positive outlook on a world thats bleek,lucky you...i enjoyed reading it,i liked how your spreadin th emessage of peace an shit at the end,i liked the rain line alot actually...it was ill...but you need to up your vocab some nahmean,nothin against you dont take this the wrong way,but your vocab seemed to me pretty simple in parts,wich is all goodif thats your style,im jus tellin ya thats how i saw it...but overall i liked it alot,that rain dissaperance line especially.damn...i dunnowhy i like it so much but i do....keep posting,elevate elevate dun,you got mad potential.....keep it up...

bismillah

thanx alot for the feedback peeps, AT, ill take dat into consideration, MORE FEEDBACK PEEPZ
--1--

yo im also looking for somone who can throw a beat to this song, IM me, VISIONARY3030, much apreciated. PEACE

yea what bash said......that was nice shit na mean but the vocab could've been tweaked a lil bit...

"as i step up to the mic i begin to explain, it begins to rain" good mulites there it's good keep u the work

....i kno how u feel dawg.....evaluate a lil u'll get really good......nice drop