yo feed me back

Manic Killer, u'll remember the name//
hes that mothafuka who put u to shame//
cut u down from head to toe//
motha to ho, brotha to foe//
u were murdered with his vicious flow//
battled the killa but there was no real fight//
hes outta sight god damn right//
that u were left speechless after his lines flew tight//
shakin in yo boots, scared shitless//
shit shot down without a witness//
take another look back at manic//
over ur shoulder in a panic//
no where to turn, too much to learn//
catchinin up is an impossibility, battlin with manic is a regret//
losin is the only probability, thats worth takin a bet//
on, yo gone, so long, i think i hear a pop song//
made just for u, go buy it//
and take this shit outta my face//
u willl never keep up the manic pace//

thats it im done
dont rip on it too hard im a newb + i KNOW that it was a little 'battle based' man who cares just tell me what u think

PLEASE VOTE!!!! ------ SERIOUSLY JUST CHECK IT OUT AND VOTE

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=47924

peace

ermm it wasnt that bad atually to be honest,you need to up your vocab,and spit about somethign else,but yeah it wasnt too bad...need to work some more on flow and syllable placement,bu tother then that it was ok...it was very simple,but droppinmore will help that...


bismillah

yeh it was a little simple esp at the start, thnx for the feedback, droppin more wot yo mean? sorry ima newb.

Another newbie , and another whack drop , , ,, u newbies should elevate

^^ lmao

Its too simple. Structure is falling, no vocab, no wordplay, weak topic.

un-skrypted thnx fo some feedback even if its harsh. but bash, why rip on a newb thats just lookin for some help? nobody starts at the top.