We the jack in the box/
Like opening pandoras box/
well end up overcoming you/
with bombs for songs/
did I mention there fulla shrapnel too/

We tha Hk Central boyz comin out of our shell/
we gonna bust some ryhmes/
hey might not be good but age is on our side/
we dont stutter/
well rattle you like a storm on a shutter/
well go to ya crib and spray metal/
even at your innocent mother/

Heres a bit of advice for those that be hatin/
ill give you a little tip so you dont end up in hidin/
if you hear me start growlin/
keep clear im as distinctive as an owl that be howlin/
ill come at you/
ill come to you/
ill go through you/
and strike fear/
through ur body cause you be near/

See we just wanna be entertainers/
livin the life onstage entertainin ya/
and yeah we white/
the skin colour on us is light/
but dont mean that under you a fire will ignite

Yo any tips holla back

ey its wanna our first attempts we would appreciate any feedback and yeah criticism welcome cause it still helps

was an aiight attempt there chutney....was really simple...really simple...but it was ok...you need to up your vocab,and think of somehting other then what your going to do to cats in your rhymes nahmean?think of somethign original to write about,anythign at all,just try to drop the gangstaness...its just really annoying unless its completely ill...your flow fell off at times i thought...was almost abstract in a way ,i didnt mind it ,the first little 4 bars was aiight...the owl line was good i thought...but you really need to up your vocab and rhyme scene nahmean,its too simple at the moment,but keep writing and posting an no doubt youll up on it nahmean...keep going wiht it but aiight...forget abou tmentioning your race and colour too,it dont really work,just brings criticism aiight...just keep writing and uppin and posting and shit and youll elevate over time aiight....


peep my zions verse if you want,its anceint but it keeps getting looked at ahha...aiight then...

bismillah...

what he said...........improve your vocabulary..........yes dont try n rap gangsta................try and spit about topics.........keep elivating and ur peices will get a lot better