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Old 05-27-03, 04:17 AM   #1
DiverseSyndicate
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jus a key style tryin to get a lil positive ffed back

IP:

i hate faggots that bottle there water..and fondle there daughters...run up on me and ill slaughter//

you and your crew,and whatevers left when im through..i take a breath at the pew..stayin drunk off tha brew...smoke tha earth that is blue//

something readily complicated and cursed..rhymes that reverse..its time to disperse//

this new affiliation..someones destination,,ruinin reputations...brewin in desilation...usin my hesitation..smoke hydros resination//

wether it be opium or hash...i start smokin em then blast..after chokin em off grass...and pokin tha wrong ass//

thought i was sober and my girl was next to me...thats why i quit takin ecstacy...anonymous girls sexin me...then my baby questions me...guess its destiny...i didnt fuck bethany...sayin im sorry and i best to be...she was lettin me...my boys bettin me//

it wont last longer than a few months...it makes me stronger to smoke two blunts...its how i get through lunch...gave her a new hunch//

tryin to tell her but she says keep on explainin...i stopped maintainin..while my life keeps on drainin...spittin this ish plain and simple to keep attainin.
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Old 05-27-03, 04:48 AM   #2
sen
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hey i'm new ta the board-

liked yer flow / content too

think it's good, but what do i know--i'm new & after my first battle the response isn't very good(weak beginning)

MystiQuest vs s.e.n.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=49472

check it out & let me/ and say what ya think----

also check out my first post ta open mic--
advise/critic-----
Mystic Minstrel
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=50386

peace
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Old 05-27-03, 05:02 AM   #3
DARK THOUGHT'S
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structure make's it hard to read better bar lining would make it better.
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Old 05-27-03, 05:08 AM   #4
DiverseSyndicate
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i hate faggots that bottle there water..and fondle there daughters...run up on me and ill slaughter//you and your crew,and whatevers left when im through..i take a breath at the pew..stayin drunk off tha brew...smoke tha earth thats blue//something readily complicated and cursed..rhymes that reverse..its time to disperse//this new affiliation..someones destination,,ruinin reputations...brewin in desilation...usin my hesitation..smoke hydros resination//wether it be opium or hash...i start smokin em then blast..after chokin em off grass...and pokin tha wrong ass//thought i was sober and my girl was next to me...thats why i quit takin ecstacy...anonymous girls sexin me...then my baby questions me...guess its destiny...i didnt fuck bethany...sayin im sorry and i best to be...she was lettin me...my boys bettin me//it wont last longer than a few months...it makes me stronger to smoke two blunts...its how i get through lunch...gave her a new hunch//tryin to tell her but she says keep on explainin...i stopped maintainin..while my life keeps on drainin...spittin this ish plain and simple to keep attainin.

is this better??
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Old 05-27-03, 05:14 AM   #5
DARK THOUGHT'S
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this is how I write and it help's structure
each line is the same length in the end
this is just a better way of making it easier
doesnt mean it's better just easier
and so on blah blah blahb albh albhj
SGdddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
gdssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
sgddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
ok that's just some info take it or leave it.1

and smaller line length couldnt hurt..good luck,,,,,,
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Old 05-27-03, 05:06 PM   #6
DiverseSyndicate
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uppin for replys ^^^^^^
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Old 07-29-03, 02:18 AM   #7
DiverseSyndicate
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im gonna up this one again too, dont sleep~1~
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Old 07-29-03, 11:35 AM   #8
murda_mistress
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I didn't have aproblem following and thought it was ill nice work
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