As i sit on my porch watch this drive-by/
i sit and wonder why I just saw my life fly-by//
Cant figure out why i moved here/
now my life has so much fear//
The mob attacks with a percision blow/
The evil flows like water and like a painting like a van gohg//

Lynn is isnt a place to be livin with the mafia, the mob, and all the gangs/
all you hear ar the loud bangs//
probably another kid has just been killed/
he probablly diddnt have a will//
never had the oppertunity to live his full potental/
his life was never made he couldve had at least one suplementle//

Rap hasnt helped my life when i fisrst started my life was gettin kicked everyday/
very-way where the hell did become a rap artist now on the computer gettin called a so called "textcee" i aint there today//
just wait till i diss all of your on my first audio here in rb, attack these kids like they expired like a bag of old whyse chips/
everyday on this town there was a kid gettin beat by athem whips//
Wigga my ass just cause i white living in the ghetto with all these gangs and shit made me a hardcore type of person/
Fuck me well i cant understand why these ryhmes are never understood by people i wanna know why u never understand my shit duck you go to the merson//

lol wateva i cant think of anymore so give me sum feed back

started off real real weak, but ur last verse was a lot better than ur first 2. if u would have used better vocab and lit devices such as similes in ur first verses, (like the van gohg thing) it would have been a lot better.

good post nice flow and wordplay

I Agree 100% With Illusionist.. But I Was Feelin Sum of Those Linez Man Fa' Real

pZ.. $pitzophrenic

uppin fo mo replys

i would like sum construtive replies to help me find wat wat i could work on

I liked this Piece........Nice seeing an emcee representing their City.........Return da favour http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=52756

YO FAM i have to say this wusnt yo best Open Mic na'mean but to drop a sick open mic u dont need big vocab....but i have say Illusionist said it all u needed some similis...and used it more creative.....it would be SICKNESS..................but i have to say this u have put emotions in to it cuz it felt like it.....Anyhow i said 2 much already...lol

Nice drop FAm

U seen the WarLords Anthem.....

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...69&pagenumber=3


ENCORE VERSION OF IT Coming soon and yes i want u in there KAwtic...Kool

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i think the first verse was completly garbage.....(honest feedback)..i think you could have put more time into it.....the title went with the first verse i thought, but then when you got more towards the bottom u started talking about textcee's and all that good stuff and u had one line about someone in your town....it was too short i think for a topical.....the second verse was much better then the first but this line:

just wait till i diss all of your on my first audio here in rb, attack these kids like they expired like a bag of old whyse chips/
everyday on this town there was a kid gettin beat by athem whips//

that was really plain and just gay.....it coulda been without that i think...i'd give this a 3/10 i think u should work on it a little more

It started off on a so so note but ended overall ok. Illusionist pretty much said what needed to be said about it.

R.x Out

Peep my newest work: My Life

I really wasn't feelin' this at all.. I've seen way better shit than this come from you that's why I peeped it.. and I must say I was disapointed.. you had virtualy no flow, the bar scheme was different every bar.. and it seemed real choppy... sorry for the negativity but I was really disapointed in this... what happened?

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This piece was tight and the word play was all over... all in all nice drop.