When I look at myself in the mirror I see someone else
A better version of me perhaps?
Though hard to believe, he made me feel wanted and secure
He opened up my eyes when I was blinded by fear and hatred
He freed my soul when it was bounded by insecurities and hurt
He cleared my mind when it was blurred by thoughts of insults and bruised by reckless hearts
But most of all He gave me myself, a person with a new perspective and a new outlook in life
But like all wonderful and good things, must come to an end
Sadly he came to an abrupt end
His coldness towards me gave me chills up my spine
His harsh demeanor took me aback
And the warmth that I felt before was now replaced by hushed silence
Your loving smile now turned to an unwavering stare
People change for a special reason but I see not the reason behind this
Each and everyday that passes by I try to suppress this surreal feeling with in me
Though I long for those happy days when we talked freely without obligation
Laughed openly and those long talks about life in general
I feel so shattered, pieces of me thrown about and scattered everywhere
But shattered I am my will and spirit are not
I will try to make an effort to go on though unsure of what life brings, whether he will still be a part of it
But nevertheless I will go on and the pieces that he lay shattered on the ground will find its place once again
Though he left me shattered, you made me whole in the process and I am grateful for it
Shattered he left me, and whole he will find me


--j-style--

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

i really like ur poem
i liked the "what you given me you've taken away from me" at the start and then to see you managed to keep it all together.
i also like your sign;p cute;p
well,peace

It's dropping to the bottom and I can't let that happen!

You already know that I liked this one but I could probably tell you more about why, I guess. I always like the way you write. You describe everything really well and use good words in your pieces.

"Though hard to believe, he made me feel wanted and secure
He opened up my eyes when I was blinded by fear and hatred
He freed my soul when it was bounded by insecurities and hurt
He cleared my mind when it was blurred by thoughts of insults and bruised by reckless hearts
But most of all He gave me myself, a person with a new perspective and a new outlook in life
But like all wonderful and good things, must come to an end "

I liked that part. You told how much he meant to you, how he changed you, and what he did. You wrote all that really good.

"Sadly he came to an abrupt end
His coldness towards me gave me chills up my spine
His harsh demeanor took me aback
And the warmth that I felt before was now replaced by hushed silence
Your loving smile now turned to an unwavering stare
People change for a special reason but I see not the reason behind this
Each and everyday that passes by I try to suppress this surreal feeling with in me
Though I long for those happy days when we talked freely without obligation
Laughed openly and those long talks about life in general
I feel so shattered, pieces of me thrown about and scattered everywhere "

Since you wrote all the good stuff that he did, then went to that part, I kinda felt bad. It looks like you put a lot of heart into this and I felt it. I was in a situation sorta like this so that's also why I felt it.

"But shattered I am my will and spirit are not
I will try to make an effort to go on though unsure of what life brings, whether he will still be a part of it
But nevertheless I will go on and the pieces that he lay shattered on the ground will find its place once again
Though he left me shattered, you made me whole in the process and I am grateful for it
Shattered he left me, and whole he will find me"

I really liked the ending of it. You told how much the guy did for you, then switched his attitude and it broke you, then you tell how you're going to pick yourself up and keep going. Niiiiiiiice job.

awwwww..thanks shaun...i know i could always count on u for replies....every1 is sleepin...and i hate it...cuz sometimes i question myself "why do i post my shits here?" "is it worth it?" *shrugs* sometimes i just wanna stop writing cuz i dont know if i have anymore inspiration in my life...its just comes to the end that i would just give up....

i really appreciate the ppl who gave even just a little of their time reading my poems..i definitely love the way u guys replied to mine even just one of those "straight poem, nice job!" and especially one of those who really felt the way i feel as i wrote all those poems....it gave me encouragement to write more....

but im trying to think about the things im missing out there...i mean i should be going out more...partying, boy-hunting (hehe), movies, and yeah dating *sigh* but instead im here writing more poems to post so i can share them with y'all but i realize now that this aint worth anything...i dunno..guess im just kinda depressed right now thats why im sayin all of these....maybe i should give my writing a break....i dunno..maybe this is like a farewell for my poems...i mean im not gonna post anymore of mine...just gonna read what every1 else have...and try to reply and help with a couple of things...regarding their writing that is...

im always trying my best to give u guys the feedbacks, either good or bad, and give u determination and respect for ur appreciation of poetry...Poetry is my life ...if their aint poetry..i would be dead...same goes for love..( i already ask told shaun about this but im typing this again) if love is like breathing....how can i stop???.....


(we should have like a forum where u can just say anything ya know...cuz if u put this emotions...like what im doing right now somewhere..they would just be deleted..*shrugs* emotional release forum...sounds neat but i dunno its up to them....i know poems are the answer to like show these emotions but sometimes u just gotta say it ya know...oh well)

well im out of space now and this is kinda long...just wanna say thanks to every1! ill just be here...peace

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

Whats up Shizzy. Let me just start off by saying, i dont think you should stop posting here. People are sometimes a little slow, but that doesnt mean that the work isnt worthy, as in this case. Everything I've read from you, I've liked. And this piece was no different. I find it a little hypocritical in some parts, since you've never replied to any of my pieces but yet here I am replying to yours. Anyway tho..

I liked this a lot. And i usually dont like poems i find on here that don't rhyme, because usually the content can not make up for the lack of rhyme..But this piece most certainly did.

I liked how you gave a lot of information and background in a small amount of space, and also how despite the saddended tone of heartbreak in the beginning parts, the end seemed positive, and optimistic.

>>But nevertheless I will go on and the pieces that he lay shattered on the ground will find its place once again

I really liked that line..and of course the ending line:

>>Shattered he left me, and whole he will find me

..Left me sayin "you go girl" in my head. I liked it a lot.

I hope you reconsider not posting here anymore, cuz even tho it seems sometimes like people dont appreciate what you put out, the few who do always make it worth it in their replies and whatnot. Thats what I've learned anyway.

Stay up.
Peace.

*sigh*
::remembers when Legendary used to be MY biggest fan....::

yo good shyt, i especially liked tha end, few words but it said alot, that shows skillz indeed, im gettin slept on too, but i thought i was jus me, so im spreadin tha love, hopfully ill get some back...

If it helps, I appreciate your poetry. Y'know men are like that though. It's one of those traits about us that we really don't like. The ability to be one way with a woman at one moment, and then being a totally different way with a woman the next. And there really aint no excuse for it.

~Shalom~

__________________

Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

lol, well I sent you those PMs on how good I thought the one you did for the tourney was Post more stuff in here and I'll definately read and respond to it. I might not respond so quick since I been a little busy lately but I'll get to it eventually.

Ill it sounds like this man did some good for you and I hope oneday 2 find someone who can stand 2 love a thug but isn't scared 2 ride if the time calls for it. I think u got some real skillz get 3 or four more versus and spit it right and it would be a very tight spit.

If he caused U that pain then he is not worth your time and I personally some1 with a deep soul like yours shouldn't have 2 deal with shit like that. But do not get angry, all anger causes is pain and it corrupts the soul 2 deep levels that eats @ your soul and makes it hard 2 carry on.

Take it from me I almost unloaded a round 2 my skull but I wasn't able 2 when I thought of everything I'd be missing. Don't let peeps like that get 2 U Becuz life has a better side if u look 4 it NEwayz I'm out Keep your eyes posted for my topical on suicide and if U see it plz respond to it hit me back if U want.

Remeber Tupac Look to the sky's and pray 4 those better dayz.

^- Fingaz -^