withersman

The only girl that I ever loved//
we have been seperated because of//
the different lifestyles that we have//
I was unholy but this angel made me glad//
glad at the fact that I am still alive//
in this corrupt, baneful world where I must survive//
the only person who controlled my strife//
the kindness in my heart was finally brought to life//
my father said, "Michael once you get that strong woman//
treat her right and the happiness will come in"//
well I did everything that I could//
but my old doings pressured me to do what I would//
the aftermath of my actions came with horrific consequences//
and everything was eliminated that was bliss//
now the beef and fellonies keep on callin//
and my tensions are causin me to start ballin//
my girl was sick, sick of my actions//
I love her so much but these actions keep ruinin her satisfaction//
I tried my best so I wouldn't pursue it//
but I made too many mistakes that now i just blew it//

Eviley

once upon a time i loved this boy and i knew it
soo much that i gave up everything i said "screw it"
but i am stuck now in this world alone
having to still realize that he is lost and gone
i felt empty inside like i had no more emotion
cause for he was my life he was my living potion
now what do i do what do i live for
because once i was rich but now i am poor
from the moment he left and walked out the door
now all i have left is my tears to comfort me
because maybe someday he will finally see
how that angel of mine made me free
cause for his actions he did
he doesnt have to say sorry
cause i love him so very much
he just has to believe me
fate brought us here it wasnt anticipated
but sometimes it's fate that i truly hated

withersman

now baby girl is really devestated//
and sooner or later I will be hated//
by a special one, a truly special one//
the only one who caused me to leave at home my gun//
what should have I done to just calm her down//
she's worried everyday for my well being in this peto town//
I'd comfort her; I'd tried to eliminated all of her tears//
and this girl loves as I could see it was crystal clear//
I messed up in an imfamous way//
being relentless caused this angel not to stay//
I haven't heard from her in 6 months, 8 days, 12 hours//
and my lonliness in enganging to over power//
she was the only one who painted a perfect picture//
in my heart, these words heart broken scriptures//
of a devesated love

Eviley

now i sit here and think of him
because loving him was never a sin
those actions are done they are over with
cause we were together it still overpowers
i wish i can go back on that 6 months, 8 days, and 12 hours
i can't call him or see him cause it's just too hard
my love for him will begin to start
cause knowing he is out there he will always have my heart
i see a finished portrait of me and him
and it will never mess up it will never end
cause these are the tales of something true
i looked at him and i see something new
devestated love never exsisted
because the love for you is always persistant
let's just start over
the past is behind us
cause what we can have now is infamous
cause we'll leave the past aside
cause it's just the two of us with
devestated love behind

UPPIN FOR THIS PIECE!!!!!!!!!

Pretty bangin piece, Couple of off points, But still a good piece...props to Withersman and Eviley...no offense i mean this in a good way...kinda reminded me of Common and Mya ...Not bad mix

thanks for your advice.....and for checking out our shit

lol Uppin for more

UPPIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

U need to edit ur Lines...They were Ill...But they werent stated Well.............Anywayz this collab was Banging....Eviley cameout Ill as always....Withersman also did a great Job...Uppin

Withersman Verse 1 - It was aight. Flow wasn't there, didn't have anything special in it, but I can tell it came from the heart. Not bad. Try to get some imagery in there, edit the flow a little bit, and get some multies to spice it up. Vocabulary usually helps too.

Withersman Verse 2 - This was a little better than your first one. Ended it off nicely. Had a decent flow, better than the first. Again, try to add some creative writing skills in there.

Eviley - Decent job ma. Had some simple rhyming tho, like your opener was pretty Elementary. Flow was ok. Like I said before, try to add some better Vocabulary, Multies, and Imagery helps. Also, if you use better imagery in a heart-felt piece, it shows emotion which is a Plus in writing.

Not bad ya'll.

pZ!

This shit wuz hot.......keep it up.........


Respect |_

thanx UPPIN!!!!!!!!!

Yo Weezy...This drop didnt need vocab...Because its deep...Its about Love............So no need for vocab in this Piece

THANX DAWG UPPIN UPPIN UPPIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UPPIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wish i can go back on that 6 months, 8 days, and 12 hours
i can't call him or see him cause it's just too hard
my love for him will begin to start
cause knowing he is out there he will always have my heart


^ guessing that isn't me....^

i'm too . Umm devastated....Confused...
Angry, Sad, Relieved, Depressed, Pissed...

Whatever That Feeling Is...Hello Feeling...

Well Fuck...Slug Is Coming July 16th. My Backstage
Passes Are Now Available...I Guess I'll Have To Talk
To Him About...Stuff....Even Though He Won't Care..

No One Cares.....

Eva...When You Tell Me He Doesn't Have Your Heart.
And I Do . How Come Your Song Says He Does....
We Haven't Talked For 15 hours and 34 minutes...and
it feels like i'm missing something. why couldn't u
just tell me you still loved him....how come i have to find
out like this....damn.....down to the exact day

because the love for you is always persistant

hmm.....

cause what we can have now is infamous
cause we'll leave the past aside
cause it's just the two of us with
devestated love behind

...sand has been pushed out of the
picture....he is falling....


noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


bye......

*my love is also persistant.....* < that's too bad

__________________

aa............................................
ok.........................UPPIN