yo yo yo,
this fucking rap is a joke/
and i do snort a lot of coke/
and all you will see is my gun smoke/
after i blast this gatt wihle your swing that bat/
at me cause you don't think i am the true cat/
and i will take you in the ring and knock you flat on the mat/
and the whole world will hear you go Splat/
now i get all the respect you had/
isn't that kinda sad cause i really aint that tight/
but i really know how to fight/
and if you don't belive me I am ready to throw down tonight/
now go back home and wright/
your freestyels that you post/
and you and your boys will be toast/
every where you go east or west coast/
and i know you will try to go and boast/
now i am schoring you with the mic and listeningto roast/
so don't come back to rb and never ever post/

Holla Unreal_1

yo if you check my stuff and give me some detailed comments I'll be sure to do the same for yours... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=53620

Yo grim, imma NEWb two in away, you wanna battle to up our skillz or what? ill set that shit up if you want

"o lord" that all i have to say son
word of advice:elevate

your problem lies in the fact that you go off subject an its short for instance
"and you and your boys will be toast/
every where you go east or west coast/
and i know you will try to go and boast/
now i am schoring you with the mic and listeningto roast/
so don't come back to rb and never ever post/"

it didnt flow

you need the elevation praclomation

__________________

Soft Focus
Suicide Inc.
RhymeVantage
Def.Ill
Ghost-Writers

Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..

how about some fucking feed back ppl not other rhymes, or battle calls gd it!

Aight homie, you want some feedback . . .

Your flow is ugly. Your lines are choppy. You show no talent in writing dawg. Try to get a better flow going by evening up the bars a little more. Also, add some multies, good vocabulary use, meta's and simile's as well to up it.

To put it bluntly, you're garbage.

wow fuck you wanan see some of your shit, i knw i have a better vocab then you~

Dawg. Peep "Reflection of Fate" and say that again.

I'm not trying to start shit, I'm telling you the truth. Harness on the truth, don't bitch about an honest opinion on your piece. And after peeping "Reflection of Fate" link in my signature, and you still think it's wack, we'll topical battle. Me vs You, homie. I got no problems with beating you. I gave you an honest opinion.

Fuck it, click this link
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=50047

Reflection of Fate

pZ!

Yea, thought so fag.