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Old 06-07-03, 10:06 AM   #1
pot1ent
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Undertake

IP:

As the world rotates and i repel, i get peeps that jus hate,
Dudes wanted to be that rebel, new definitions jus congregate/
I dominate and demeen so now no one can infiltrate this bean,
I'm like a puddle of mudd but every one else comes cleanBLAH/
Suffication happens cuz opponents can't chew tough meet,
Rhymes permanent attachment to your name, gotcha being discrete/
The ends i get don't jus meet, they bond,
I'm like 007 i never die, you'll die before you respond/
My rhymes are worth nothing… there ‘priceless’
When your in my flow…not even a ‘life-vest’ will save you,
I blow rhymes imperial that’s impromptu, I prompted you/
That your inferior to me, I’d have to look in the mirror to see, someone superior to meBLAH/
Turning readers into oral paedophile’s, give you a hunger for somethingYOUNGER,
Straight of tha TOUNGUE i SLURR up phlegm, killin guys that only impend, or bend/
Undertake them as well, I’d take them under if I ever fell/
My lines are miscellaneous I think I’ve miss laid my cuss(post-somin to share)
It was sharp and metal but now it’s rust, So fuck recycling it,
It was easy writing it, So I’ll squeeze and produce some more shit, here it is…
You’d have to be a firewalker to walk over me, somehow I don’t think that’s what you be, Ima bee I buzz word play like you’ve never see, ‘before’
I play wit them until there ‘sore’, give em rape date drugs, take there clothes of then their ‘raw’, Fuck em like they some bitchin ‘whore’,
That’s how me and the language bonded, if ya ever wondered, reproduced now ever bawler out numberedBLAH/

~1~ uppin~ for feedback
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Old 06-07-03, 12:55 PM   #2
WORD~PERFECT
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IP:

your lines are difficult for readers to grasp.your so graphic i think that is true hip hop only those who want the message will see it but hey most cats want it simple. ilike this you need some work on punchlines and setup punches but other then that you are really good
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Old 06-07-03, 03:57 PM   #3
pot1ent
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IP:

ay yo, can i get some feedback on here!!
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Old 06-07-03, 04:05 PM   #4
WORD~PERFECT
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i tried par read my new ish dissing unskrypted and jay cyph and i have 2 more coming
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Old 06-07-03, 06:37 PM   #5
pot1ent
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come on i reply to every1 elses let get some fuckin feedback here aiight.
~1~
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Old 06-08-03, 12:20 AM   #6
Redloks
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Posts: 89
From: WI
IP:

Pretty good battle style of a song. Work on your flow, but alright.
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Old 06-08-03, 12:21 AM   #7
Reno Starr
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IP:

Patch up the flow abit and you are on ya way.
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Old 06-08-03, 07:05 AM   #8
pot1ent
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IP:

appreciating the critisism
~1~ uppin~
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