RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases > Poetic Scriptures
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 06-10-03, 09:40 PM   #1
Teeny
BANNED
 
Posts: 111
From: Charlotte
Question what is Pain?

IP:

what is pain?

is pain when you get pricked with a thorn?
dropped when you were born?
or when your skin is all torn?

what is pain?

is pain when you dont make the team?
when you fall off the beam?
or when you just cant see that special gleam?

what is pain?

is pain a broken heart?
when you and your love part?
or when your life just wont start?

there is so much pain
how can you avoid it?
there is also so much happiness
but how can you afford it?
everyone goes through pain
its a main course of life
it comes and goes
but your heart is sharper than any knife
Send a message via AIM to Teeny Send a message via Yahoo to Teeny   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-03, 09:48 PM   #2
jokester
BANNED
 
Posts: 73
From: utah
IP:

that was some really good shit that i just heard from u man that was excellent$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-03, 05:21 AM   #3
KeVLaR
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

this piece wasn't all that great....but it wasn't that bad either...

i feel like you didn't explore what pain is to it's full extent... so i felt like this piece lacked sum things...

vocab, and imagery weren't that gud....and i know this a poem and shit... but it still needs sum kind of rythm to it...a flow and personally this piece lacked that....

rat'n...6
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-03, 12:47 PM   #4
ILLusions
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

Nice, I liked this one............

simple but it showed a good image........

keep droppin'
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-03, 09:47 PM   #5
Teeny
BANNED
 
Posts: 111
From: Charlotte
IP:

thank you
Send a message via AIM to Teeny Send a message via Yahoo to Teeny   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-03, 10:16 PM   #6
plagued
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

the last line "your heart is sharper than any knife"
that was awesome
i enjoyed this poem, but i felt it was missing something.
im just not sure what it is..
meh, oh well, good overall
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-03, 01:05 AM   #7
Teeny
BANNED
 
Posts: 111
From: Charlotte
IP:

yeah i feel that way too, that it makes you think but not hard enuff....or something like that lol
Send a message via AIM to Teeny Send a message via Yahoo to Teeny   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:41 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.