![]() |
|
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
||
Sharp Perfection.
|
![]() IP:
yo all thanks for checking in here it goes,
I find myself again staring up thoughtless at that old ceiling fan// thinking of all those great times together wanting just to hold in my hands// I will never forget the way your toothless smile unburden my days// and how your permanent endearment change forever my ways// Every breath u inhaled through your miniature freckled nose// made my whole body chime with love right down to my toes// Every beautiful sight that your vivid brown eyes did take in// made me apprehend that God does relinquish all of my sins// You taught me everything with your heart pure of gold// critical things like your love for someone is prime to be told// You taught me substance that only a genuine child could teach// essential things to you like just the right way to bite into a peach// All of your clever dreamy lessons I will never forget// but I am asking one big-hearted last favour from you yet// All that I ask of you is mere yet so significant// I am asking you to never forget this face and to wait for me up there high in heaven.... // yeah the last line doesnt really fit but hey start uppin this shit
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven Last edited by filed : 06-20-03 at 10:53 AM. |
||
![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||
Sharp Perfection.
|
IP:
.
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven Last edited by filed : 06-20-03 at 12:27 PM. |
||
![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||
Sharp Perfection.
|
IP:
looking for some replys here keep on coming
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven |
||
![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|
Guest
|
IP:
ey girl..it seems we encounter eachother again and yet you never make it a dull visit...you got mad skills and i can envision each - and - every line that comes together to make come to life...i felt you on this - keep it up boo
holla |
|
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||
BANNED For Spam
|
IP:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||
BANNED For Spam
|
IP:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
|
||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||
Sharp Perfection.
|
IP:
thx all except thick blood here keep uppin
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven |
||
![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||
Tampons are expensive
|
IP:
alright...this piece is not that bad but couldve been better ya kno if u used wordplays...but that was just a suggestion..i mean its good as it is....
the content of this piece was pretty interesting by the fact that u structured it according to what u want....and thats really impressive well..i liked it ...
__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit - - Tampons are still expensive - - That's a Fact - </center> |
||
![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|
Guest
|
IP:
I liked this filed.
Though i felt you were a bit too elaborate at times, especiallyt in terms of the ryhme scene. But using a kind of simplicity you really bought this piece out to the reader. Especially the way you implemented imagery. ..resp.. PS I will close this thread. When you have LESS THAN 2 pieces on the first page, PM me, Shiznit, Phrantik or Deacon and we will re-open it and up it to the first page. Sorry, not your fault. Rule only started 8 mins ago. |
|
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|