Wake up, wipe the wieght from your eyes
the blinds are open and the light from the world u despise
penetrates your skin and burns sleeps lies
burns away the dreams, n reunites you with reality or so it seems
the world is full of devious schemes
to take your money, and some think its funny
to deprive those who strive for a livin
thats the clutch of sleep that hasnt risien
eyes crusty from the sores open like my doors
to those who are diposed and cant get off of all fours
you aint really been awake for so long its so wrong
you aint never sat up in bed, and listened to what the people said
in that so called dream, a reality nightmare
the world is in trouble send and emergency flare
i declare that were in dispair
someone call triple A tell em we need a spare
its time to wake up, and smell the suffering
it smeels like burning skin
cuz thats the by prodcut of always tryin to win
leaving fellow man behind, in the race for cash
hold on slow down, listen to what isay before you go inpound
the rest of the human race, just cuz you wanted to to lace
ya whole family with jewels that light up the place
one for all and all for one, what happend to shivarly is it done
fellow man kind should be more important
i think u need to wake up before u get a charcheter deformant
i think you and yourself need to have a one on one
listen to your heart, not ya wallet
wake the fuck up before i set the big bomb, or an alarm clock as some call it

this peice wait aiight. Work on your vocab a lil bit and keep spitting

gets 12 IQ points

this was nice good vocab, wordplay needs to be upped tho, flow ok rhymes nice but the word "cash" daint seem to fit in anywhere

Eborted verdict- B

keep writing dawg

that was ight, but like mex said u need to improve on ur vocab

his vocabs fine, thats not wotz wrong with it, he jus needs to get some better worplay in there

aight, thanks for the positive feed back

upped vocab and some parts dont rhyme how you think they should..not bad though

peeped this earlier...pretty nice man keep the elevation going...

I'll be back to give you a more thorough breakdown