This is the 3rd verse I have written to the beat - Jadakiss, Nasty Girl
(please give feedback, thanks!)

if ya fire for 5 minutes, it's gonna make the gun hot
plus it could seize up, and reduce ya kill shot
i got a pain in my leg, could be a blood clot
I bet it fuckin is, then again, it might not
with all this pressure it could be, shootin every night
whoever we see in our sight, might shoot back not fight
if we would just use our fists, throw a couple punches
we'd get a broken nose, not bullets stuck up in bunches
assassins puttin pressure bombs in our kid's lunches
which will blow up as soon, as the kid munches
bullet's burrow in the skin, deep in the flesh
gettin it out is hard from a veign and artary mesh
there's anthrax in the box, when you confess ya sin
put there by a dick head called, bin-lar-din
him and sadam treat every limb, like a bollin pin
if everyone dies in a war, who the fuck i'll win?

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This Piece was Aight , But It Lacked Vocab.....

nice

more vocab...better vocab....where s the word play?

for someone who calls themself ninemillimeter you're pretty anti-gun, other than that... you got an' alright flow.. what deushy said.. you need better vocab to pull off something like this, wordplay can be replaced by a straight forward rhyme with a huge vocab... ne-way that's my 2 cents.. 1

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^Agreed. It did need voacb like Bash said (im agreeing alot with bash since now..since the whole Ja thing. ) but other than that it was pretty well done.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^wat they said


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=60416

hit up ma shit

word....good though

thanks all, this is only a simple rap anyway, in a few days i'm going to post one of my better ones so watch for that.

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