Gazing down from above he stands
Small tiny silver orbs clasped tightly in his hand
gently he places them down on the earth
waves his palms on the small particles and gives them birth
proudly he watches over his small creations
watching them change colour and create different nations
He had created the perfect universe for his litte children
And after all he hd done for him he thought this wouldnt happen
people we no longer nice to each other always bitchin
he watched as the cave men came and went with the revolutions
as swords came on the scene piercing into his precious creatures
killing meat for fun or food with a perilous nature
but then his worst fear came true
man discovered guns
and without a dobt he knew
people would kill just for fun
all the times that he missed out on signs this was occuring
to busy bein big headed to notice the world was hurtin
*why was i so blind as to not see the hurt*
*i gave them everytyhing they needed...out of the love in my heart*


One boy named michael who was innocent and pure
fell to the ground in a pool of blood..and knocked on Gods door
although god was sadly disheartend he still answered his call
he took one look at michael whos eyes showed the earth fall
God asked the little boy how he got to this stage
and when god heard his decree his soul filled up with rage
an eleven year old boy caught up in a shooting spree
this innocent youngster killed...all becuase of me
all because of what i made and all i have created
some worship me every day but in other's lifes im hated
God fell to the round and started to cry
the little boy put a hand on his shoulder..divinity shone throughh his eyes
Please god dont cry theres one thing you should kno
no matter how hard you tried sir.....you reap what you sew

these people are evil but you had no idea
now theres no cure but heart ache and tears
just because you created them dont mean your responsbile
some people are really lovely..others downright horrible
athough while you sat here reapin the benefits of a erfect world
you were too blind to notice hate and evil unfurl
but do not cry over it get up and start again
because after that cruel world dwn there....we come here..to heaven


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This was written nicely panther....


...some very nice imagery and a strong 'storyline' which bought foward the meaning made up the piece at times tailing off into over elaboration and overall akwardness..

..i enjoyed the read. Though the message was clear and some might say cliche, parts of it did raise points in a more fresh and original way..

..resp...

thanks for the feedback.nice to see someone noticed the messages lol otheresthought it was just simple

This was pretty good. I wasn't feeling all the lines though. There was a story behind this but I must have missed it.

The bad parts about this are the ones where you made it sound like things are out of God's control, which they aren't. Or the parts where you said God did know what was going on and didn't know what was going to happen. Everything else was good. Interesting content.

You're a good writer I just didn't really feel everything you had to say. This was good so you should get more responses...hopefully

i enjoyed reading this...i thought it was unique how u took the idea of God and gave him more human characteristics...i thought thats wat made the poem all the more interesting...keeeeep em comin....
Peace

nice lines
there was a story behind it
was this kid someone that you knew?
n e way i was fellin u n enjoyed readin it
peace

The story behind it was about the kid? Oh, I didn't really notice. I thought "behind it" meant more hidden than that.

tehre is more meaning to it.it shows a kid.who is pure innnocence up against someone who is seen to have no flaws...its how men and woman idolise god and would not step out and actually say what they feel in fear wheras a child would just tell them straigh because they have nothing to hide because they are not jaded

Great peice panther...Through works like this it can make some people kinda realize god MAY not deserve all the credit he is granted...I dont want to get into religious ideas....but with lines on how god fell to the ground and started to cry..it kinda gives you and understanding of how he may not neccesarly be perfect...Most people are afraid to show their true opinion about him cause their afraid of the outcome (a problem i have encountered) your work shows that he should sometimes be looked as a human being too because he has also made mistakes..
But anyway...Great peice..and im looking forward to reading more of your work

One
ShorteRoc

LORD HAVE MERCY.......................................


STEVEY...................................

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