i remember ( deadication to JPK)

every nite i look out my window, i look up, knowin ur lookin down on me,
i remenisce to tha nites, drinkin steeel reserve on the porch in the street lite,
the way you viewed life made things easier for me, you always pointed out the good things i had,
showeed me that things arent always what they seem,
you showed me how to express myself through writtin, and you always stuck by my side when my
family was fightin,
i remember sittin on the roof listenin to u rap, youd tell me about how its the only way outta the
drug trap,
i remember sittin by ur side helpin u get ur head stright, when tabby got you trippin, feedin u beers
till u started tippin,
i remember sneakin out just cuz you wanted to talk, ud hold me at ur side admit your feelings as
we went for a walk,
i remember the nights wed party, shot afta shot of bacardi, passin out wakin up next to each other
showin up to skool tardy,
i remember the nite when i showed up to ur party with jon at my side, you said u wanted to kill
him fight him, u even broke down n cried, i knew you took those pills thou you lied, that nite i
passed out with jon at my side,
next mornin we woke up, time to go, yo jeff wake up, checked ur heart beat, nothing, i could
believe it, i ran coudl stand the heat, went to the roof where we use to meet, 2 hrs later jon call
me said you were dead, now i cant believe all the things i said, the nite before, all the balme runnin
thorugh my head, damn i wish it were me instead, all the tears shed couldnt express how much i
miss you, i still cant get around to regard to the fact that ur through, though you spirit lives on, i
still cant believe your gone, sometimes i tlak to you, cry with you, look up to you, sometimes i
even fight with you, sumtimes i think about the whole situation and how its fucked up within
itself, then i come to the realization that i always have the last word when im talking to myself

i like it....real fuckin deep, and #1. its original..the last 4 lines were SMOOTH...i like it babygirl, keep it up :-)

OMG... im seriously crying... woah i feel like a baby... this piece was soo deep... ah i cant even think of how to reply to this it just kinda hits real hard within ya know... its somethin that has a dumb lil saying u'll always remember but never take to heart until you read it differently... like in the way u described it... ::still crying:: calls ex boyfriend n tells him she still loves him... ahh gurll forealz touching piece stay up

-lady

it was ok

that pretty cool

^ Few more responses like those and you will be banned from this forum.

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good to see you back babygee and thanks for taking notice at all
rhyme scheme was alright and rhink you can do much better

the end ban both of them they've
made shitty replies for everyone
and I think everyone else would agree

thanks for the replies with the exception of jko n fierce shadow, thanx

No critique, not the kind of piece i do that for..




I dig this, in a slightly less detailed way, i can relate...

...and i guess with that, it highlighted what was written ten fold..

...resp...