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07-03-03, 01:21 AM | #1 | |
Sand
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Like Father Like Son.
IP:
RSTL. i am 2-0...
Your standing at a grave... what thoughts feelings rush through your mind.. what happens... Expand. i sipped that bottle of dreams....in another cloudless empty night, in the epitimy of life another magic ball of thoughts, and another wish to die one last walk with my soul, one last day in this land my seeds may rejoice, the birth of the gun in my hand.... damn, death was so tragic, so helplessly hopeless i stared at the gravestone, while selfishly floatin' it's terrible i know it, and this body is trapped inside because every dive he took led him to a bath of lies many passed him by, but i took a second and read those engraved words, much better off dead... it hurt me to think someone would do such a thing blah...fuck that was mean, it wasn't right or loveful so later that night i returned, with a light and a shovel i dug in the dark, grudgeful, i don't get hate, it's sick so i just counted feet, as they changed from 2 to six the moon destroyed the shadows, just as i asked him and i felt like the star in the backrow, when i saw a casket battered and old it tattered the show, i unlatched it with hope and to my suprise it was empty, except for a bottle and a note.... "Dear curious wanderer, thank you for your concern i never layed in this pit, although often i've yearned to stop all the hurt, it seems like the easy thing to do in the end it's so absurd, you'd wish it wasn't you..." i broke down in tears and they drowned the night thoughts erupted my head, my son and my wife my life...how i also wished for the end... i straightened up...and began to read again.. "It isn't through, life continues to be a dissapointement until you can learn to live it, and heal without ointment seek annointment, you have gifts and many talents don't let the devil, knock your sites off their balance if i gave in it those times of a mess, imagine the stress imagine the sneezes, without a single soul to bless life is not easy, imagine my pain, my mind was so weak and the crown i was given is less than the one on your teeth. take the time to think, at what you have, try not to sin think of your son, make it better for him...and attempt to live..." ...i dropped the gun, it hit the ground with a thud i gave the moment of thought, realized all that i loved, i saw what loved me, and brushed on the surface dusted the mask off, and realized my purpose.... and it wasn't to die tonight.... "the choice was yours, good of you to read this.... i gave you your life, and you can take it or leave it... signed.... your son....jesus
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[ Word for Word ]
Kevin. Alex. Patrick. John. |
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07-03-03, 01:30 AM | #2 | ||
Registered User
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IP:
damn, that was deep shyt,
i feel you if you EVER fucking again reply to posts like you have been today, one line BULLSHIT, especially on MY shit. Do you know what it's like putting time into something, expecting a little appreciation and getting BULLSHIT like this ^. One More Time, i will see to it you are banned. i'm trying to get post count lowered now...this is bullshit.... - Sand |
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07-03-03, 01:45 AM | #3 | ||
- Original -
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IP:
I agree. Kid is freeposting like there is no tomorrow. Post count reset to 1.
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<center><br> - The End - Original Rb Admin And Still Watching Over You. <br> <img src=http://home.houston.rr.com/tacofox/epenis222.gif></img><br> -An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better- |
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07-03-03, 06:48 AM | #4 | |
Guest
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IP:
^^lol!, lol!, lol!, lol!^^
Anyway::: Sand, THis Is Another Dope Drope, You Got REal Felling, REal Passsion In You Words, Your Vocab And Wordplay Was BRutal, Structure Was Capital! "...i dropped the gun, it hit the ground with a thud i gave the moment of thought, realized all that i loved, i saw what loved me, and brushed on the surface dusted the mask off, and realized my purpose...." - To Me This Verse Came Out Top, Emotionally! Overall: This Had Everything A Tight Piece Needs, 9/10 |
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07-03-03, 07:37 AM | #5 | ||
shit is just too easy.
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IP:
This Was Real Nice...Really Deep Too,I Loved Your Concept..Nice Wordplay Mayne...Nice Ass Piece Man..8.7/10
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This is a dope sig. |
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07-03-03, 09:39 AM | #6 | |
Guest
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IP:
yo this was a beautiful peace dawg effection emotion creativity and inability to make someone reflect to reality was wonderfully done
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07-03-03, 10:44 AM | #7 | ||
Guest
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IP:
Quote:
^^^^ Ive felt that sooo many times.... this piece was 1 of the deepest ive read on rb so far n ive read alot lol...... very nice sand..... |
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07-03-03, 01:10 PM | #8 | ||||
Shadow Boxing
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IP:
Very Well Constructed Peice ,
Flow Was Fluent Throughout The Entire Peice , Content Was Nice . . Quote:
Strongly Felt, Well Worded, Nice . . Quote:
Very Very Nice Line . . This Was Dope, I'd Give It a 9.
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Authentik Intelligence, ` Nuff Said. |
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07-03-03, 04:47 PM | #9 | ||
..Soft Focus..
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IP:
that was dope, keep it comin, i was really feelin i liek the flow it was tight good drop
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Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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10-02-03, 01:21 PM | #10 | |
Sand
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IP:
uppas yo.
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[ Word for Word ]
Kevin. Alex. Patrick. John. |
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