As a young boy my mind has been no success/
I've been caught in a net of torture an loniness/
living a life that has no meaning, absolutly pointless/
heres a story of a young boy who has no reason to exist/
another teen suicide for slittin his wriste cuz im crazy pissed/
i once tryed to o-dee off morpheen an tylonal/
whats happen to me, mom get gone im dien of lysol/
she stepped out of the room for a minute/
came back slapped me, told me to relax/
fuck u bitch go get dad to ejaculate in your ass/
i didnt understand what was happenin till i felt my head smash/
heard a crash looked at the floor seen blood an peices of glass/
dien in the bathroom wit no love from here or up above/
im almost dead an all i ever wanted was a hug/
to stop bein bugged im opened my eyes an seen the red rug/
but theres a gate, must be a mistake, am i not gettin out'a dis life of hate?/
aw shit my mom actually took me to the hospital saved my place in this world/
what the hells goin on i was wishin for my life to fold/
made it home later that same day seemed i was in control/
Seen my mother an she smacked me where the stitches got rolled/
told me im retarded for feelin confusion/
her hittin me was supposibly an illusion/
i think her brains fuked up too, caught in'a delusion/
i asked her the day after why she gives me shit remarks/
lights my head up hit the paper wit dead sparks/
wake up every day wit another story to tell/
about how the life im livin is really in hell/

....i tryed to get more of a story line goin...im not to sure how it is but lets c wutchas think..peace

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

i think this is aiight....you could try to up ya vocab though

...........

looked like you just searched for words to adjust the facts..or fiction...not bad but not great either