THIS IS A PEACE WRITTEN IN THE SAME COMPLEXITY I WENT THROUGH As a child beaing beat and molested by step father .
YOU WANTED TOPICAL AND DIVERSITY THAN HERE IT IS.
Bash: Yeah dawg , show dem cats how u do it , Straight from da Heart....4 sho

turn the televison on.....
to the hardest channel-your brain can handle-and see a scorn child product of porn get his life dismantled-
torn- by a loving vandel-

i closed my eyes-to the sunrise-and sunny skies-than engulfed the heartless darkness-eclipse-screaming between 2 closed lips-''HERE IS WHERE I DIE"-in gods plan

i fold-to your cold-sences-that beat me senseless-from a young age-the love of a DERANGED-PARENT-THE SEAMED TO DESTROY EVERY SABORDINENT IN RANGE-"daddy this feels strange!"-

and i escapsed- in the comfort of being raped- by the aspect-of a vile-love turn hostile-in my stage of denial-i was an asset-
"'not anything but anger mangement purchased look ma violence comes in a set''-

wasnt born a child-but a droid-punching bag or his fag when he was anoid-
i am defialed-then avoid sleeping in drenching blood puddles and void-

''mother nature blanket me in a dark mist''-
''no it was god that blanketed me in my owners shroud fist''-

so now i pray to another god that i drown or choke within my blanket of tears till i dont exsist-

use the tatoos on my face-to write a request to be replaced-
whoever steniclied and penciled my future needs it eraced-

HOOK WHO ARE YOU WHAT AM I WHAT HAVE WE BECOME-
THE VICTOM NOW THE VILLAN THE NEXT VICTOM WILL BECOME ONE-IT'S A CHAIN OF EVENTS-BUT NO CHAIN OF REPEANT-YEAH I FELT LOVED BEFORE AND ALMOST DIED FROM ITS'EXTENT-

dear mother the reason for my suicide-was for daddy not to be convicted of his gradual homicide-

i was manufactured for a purpose-a worthless-exsitance so i deserve this-

i wanna be free to distinquish-how my flame of life was extinquished-by a love taken to far to relinquish-

im simply a product robot given complexity- taught to shed tears so i leaked till my face got rusty and i drowned with in it's density-

programed with words like {trust me-i love you-this is your fault}-
trust ment your would desive me-love is not true-im the recieptient of verbal assault-

dear god im done-fallen is your son-crucified with violins playing my song-

i just wanna be forgiven for your sins-till i lather myself enough to make myself a suit to be burried in-

and it's a grim slim- future with death in my past-so i pray i say your name in guilt before i breathe my last-

this is my version of heaven watch the angels flock-but i will never see this cause god changed the locks-

so here i rest angled-tangled-in my spirol- of life then walk the path of a tornado-in a triangle-
betrayed by my reflection-
potrayed as perfection-
but i was taught love ment a fist now im victom to deception-

HOOK WHO ARE YOU WHAT AM I WHAT HAVE WE BECOME-
THE VICTOM NOW THE VILLAN THE NEXT VICTOM WILL BECOME ONE-IT'S A CHAIN OF EVENTS-BUT NO CHAIN OF REPEANT-YEAH I FELT LOVED BEFORE AND ALMOST DIED FROM ITS'EXTENT-

Shiznit's Thoughts:

VOCABULARY

>very nice choice of words there....very well thought out...interesting use of indistinctive phrases...good!


FLOW

>hmmm...i had to catch my breath for a while there....i got lost at some points cuz maybe prolly i aint really used to rapping it out loud or prolly i have read it quite differently...but it was alright tho...

WORDPLAY

>wasnt that bad at all....little multis slid some in between somewhere...the dashed phrases...were tight...props!


CONTENT

>very very out there....emotional ...i can feel the pain...but ive read like a lot about this and its very typical..but sure quite nice to read tho...

OVERALL

>not bad not bad....maybe coudve executed some parts far more better...but i liked it

drop more man!

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

great flow man, i liked the drop a lot of creativity an balls in that

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

thank you i tried a new style mixing mine and aesop or el-p with indirect narotive 1 st person view

uppin

aiyo word ya shits is always hot, and that verbal assassins thing wit bash is a great idea. this piece was not one of ya best, but it had an interesting topic and it was mad fun to read. 8.5/10
peep my piece 110% Raw remix with rythmic tendicies

__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

thnx