Merely existing
Hardly living
This everday routine
Now just instinct
Variety has been replaced
Life turns to a repetitious waste
Cant help but think
I'm a failure, a disgrace
I scream out for someone to hear
But i'm turned a def ear
Oh well i guess
Didnt expect anyone to shed a tear
Or glance in my direction
Display slight affection
Since i'm an error
In a world based on perfection
Studying others I wonder
What they have that I lack
Staring, glaring, looking
At this world that doesnt look back

my first piece in a long long while....let me know what u think....

nice, rhymes were pretty good and the flow was smooth, i felt the meassage and understood where you were coming from, keep it up
peace

__________________
We are the music makers,
and we are the dreamers of dreams.

wow.....kinda like a lost soul piece..i liked it a lot! lines weren't that long..but it gave it that climaxin feel....nice..God bless..1..

thanx pheonix and trinity....uppin

This had a real smooth, downbeat and real feel to it. A quaint piece.

Got no criticism. It all fitted in well enough. And ended in a befitting way.

Most definetly felt. I enjoy these kind of pieces when they are done right. And this one was.

..resp...

i like this whole "not getting slept on thing"...its kinda nice...
lol...thanx for the feedback varentao....

Really good writing. I don't even know what to say about it. The story line..I guess you could call it, flowed real nice. Then how you ended it was really good too, putting the title in there like that. I liked it a lot. Much respect to you for this

thanx legendary...

THe Flow was real good , but the content was very depressing. You need to raise your self esteem. Turn your talent into some different themes.

CE