The street life is hard, like when ni99as get an erection//
I got body scars from not keeping protection//
Fa real, you can get very ambiguous//
Outside I'm Savory, but in I'm hideous//
I dun got my a$$ whopped and kicked//
Clutch tha trigga, opps tha bullet hit//
Ni99as should be like vegetarians and stay away from beef//
I was taught not to turn but to put tha kay to ya cheek//
And to carry more heat than tha ozone layer//
"Want it wit me?" ya betta go on player//
All I knew about was thugettes and thugs//
Shoot, rep my set, and drip ya blood//
But 1 day, I stand there wit my eyes fire-red, bloodshoot//
Ni99a played wit my head, pop him dead, floodshots//
"Calm down ma" was tha words of my partner//
I'm not from No Limit but I always roll wit a chopper//
To stop me from firing, he emptied out my ammunition//
To keep me from retiring, he had me rapping & gamespittin//
You soon learn dat in da street only a few stay by ya side//
You learn,dat when it's beef, you'll neva know who survives//
Ni99as smile in ya face, try to be down wit you//
Tha next second, u die when they sen a round to you//

not bad for a a noob, keep elivatin n playin around

You had some played ass lines in here.

Flow was pretty good, for the most part.

Try to add multiz , step up your vocab , and use some unplayed lines , and your pieces will get a helluva lot better .

Keep droppin .

Yo, that was some good shi'....yo, could ya check ou' ma collab with Tha_64_Killa? thx.

erm.........well....ya know the advice ya gave me....well...do the same.....

but.....i fuckin liked the story.....dope creativity....if not created....i feel for ya...!!!

i'll take all of yall advice....i tried to use multis...check tha flow again...i ain't good at using them cause that ain't my style....i tried to make better lines....but this was summin that just came to my head