these are goin in a collab between me and Mex, R.x. may join in it too, there is this one kid, who we are going to kill, and these are about him

yo, you aint gotta gat, and you always talk till your lip is fat/
so g, watch yo mouth, or stack wit that
my niggas x an mex dont gotta pack tecs to spray em down like we got big pecs/
mex beat ya down once before, now you want more, shit youll be on the floor/
before you can count to ten, youll be down and then,/
your "crew" wont be there for you, shit you aint got friends/


yo, you an your mens can bring it here right now/
where and when homey, ill bring the know-how/
im bettin you frettin readin theses lines/
these words blowin you up like land mines/

dont have to dress warm i wear plenty of heat/
lyrics hittin your grill, they spell "clear defeat"/
biohazardous waste infectin makin you stain your sheets/
my sick chemical reactions cut you like fractions/
ill leave you and your fleet choppy like your beats/

gimme some comments!!

well....honestly kid if the dude this shyt is meant for decides to respond and only hits you wit one ill punchline it'll be over.
Your vocab is weak, and you don't really have any punchlines in this piece, if this is meant for a battle you really need to rethink this. your flow was in and out at times but thats a matter of opinion b/c you prolly spit this different then i think. but over all this is pretty weak. I give honests crits and if i sound harsh it's because you responded to one of my joints and didn't give me no real critique and that shyt pisses me off.

To some it's a hobby to others it's they life.
1

^ he's right....

your vocab lacks any pizzaz.. lol, new word, ... and your word play an' meta's are non-existant, you have the multi's down for a few lines, but you got alot of room for improvement.. 1

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