YO piece evryone on RB boards
this is my first post peeps
i hope yall like it
ohh yeah and tell me what u think about

VERSE 1
let it be known
theres a storm brewing in my dome
either your in or step out the zone
been set free
feels like im facing the world on my own
left alone
between that deamon
that cant be seeing screaming
crying for freedom
no one to talk to
about the troubles hes going through
so thats why he cant be sharing secrets of his angry feelings

VERSE 2
In the dark
theres a lonely detemined heart
that pumps the blood with a rythem and a beating
to all this theres an extra bit thats gonna make u think
a hiden meaning
of rage fire in my vains
that send the slightest messages to tha brain
lets me invest if the world has gone insane
my life aint simple and plain
its quite complicated
its all been predicted and stated
it would be a dawn shame
i'll rather die trying untill i reach my true goal and umbition of being at the STAGE of WORD WIDE FAME

please give back honest feedback

piece yall
imm out of here

Rhyming/Flow
You Rhyming Abilities At teh Stage Seem Restricted! Try To use Multi's(look in the WEC for tutorials), They Help The Flow, Which Does Need Some Help...2/10

Vocab/Wordplay
Almost Non-existant, You had Some Decent Vocab, But It Came
and Went...2/10

Concept/Topic
This Was The Best Section You Succeded In, In Some PLaces You Had Good Emotion - "of rage fire in my vains", That May Have Been Basic, But Thats They Kinda Stuff That Helps You Elevtae, Put Emotion, Passion n' Rage Into It..you KNow? ... 5/10

Overall
Was Above Average For a newb, I Liiked The Way You Didn't Portray A Gangsta Image, Which IS So Commen Amoungst Newbs...3/10.....Add Multi's, Expand Your Vocab...Hope To See You Elevatin And Droppin' more Shit Soon!

ight thanx man
apprecitate ur comments

piece

im thinking of joining B.R.E
not now
keep ur eye on me
that was nutting

yeah
more comments would be better tho
thanks peeps

more oppinions please