yo tell me wut yall think n give sum feedback

its pretty short but still......


growin up as child didnt have no riches/
jus had ma pen and a pad and a dream of bitches/
had no dough to get the mealz needed to steal some corn/
ma homies was there, the next day they were gone/
they killed themselves, left us on this earth to mou//
see it pains me inside when i see these fools/
thinkin they all gangsta, breakin the rules/
they neva had and neva will know the life live/
always got e'rything they wanted, to b? they never will/
spendin all they money on weed and pillz/
it just aint right, all these bitches aint real/
the sufferin and hurt, the pain they'll neva feel/
the hell i grew up in, my soul all ragged and torn/
reflected in my clothes, all of them used and worn/
bbut now i got a job and im livin my life right/
i had to struggle to get here, i couldnt afford to lose the fight/
for all my homies up in heaven, i pray 4 yall every night/
this is 4 you dawgs, our dreamz is in sight/

tell me wut yall think

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Basic, to the point and kind of gritty. Had a real feel of cliche to it though, the rawness didn't do much to over-shadow that.

Still, a fairly good piece for what it was.

..resp...

simple n right to the point but the rawness didnt help much with the cliche i liked the drop tho keep elevating