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Old 07-28-03, 12:59 AM   #1
nimlong
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passivly screaming (ruff)

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shakey coffee mornings.
waking up with a passsive reluctance to tolerence.
incriminating involvment inside off a relm of self retardence.
incriminate those around me. with thoughts sour and sin infested.

an era off giving the unfortunate dreams we forced them to want to weave.
a studdering streaming screaming inner conchince that has me huvering over porslain. well into the evening i sit passivly screaming.
copywriten materials. TP. 03 :guy

Last edited by nimlong : 07-28-03 at 01:11 AM.
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Old 07-28-03, 04:57 PM   #2
varentao
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I actually got to say. I was most intrigued by this piece. It was short, cryptic and SEEMS well compressed.

A person who day by day must live with his enlightened (and cursed) thoughts. He 'knows'.

I felt for what it is, it was very good. And i enjoyed it. Some might argue you could've added on, or whatever. But i think it's good as it is. Nothing spectacular. But it was what it was. I would rather not see all the pieces as the same or roughly the same.

....resp...
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Old 07-30-03, 12:51 AM   #3
Ajax 0042
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i agree with varentao it was good but next time add more n work on srturcture nice drop kep elevating
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