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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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07-28-03, 08:44 AM
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#1
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WarLord
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~skinny-mans-drama~
IP:
aight peep somethin i wrote.............
This is for those that don't eat right,Even when they hungary sometimes think is un-necceasary Yo this for my 100 pounder brothaz, this is for you and I,the ones shaped like the letter "i" This is for you .skinny dippin playaz....lol Yo listen my mother used to say "i doubted that you would live"... Cuz she didnt have to push, I walked out of the uterus... Vitamins sizes are to big so my vitals are obscene... You think it's coincidence that all my idols are obese?... My body's a laugh, anorexics view me as a gentleman... but in biology classes teachers used me as the skeleton... Gravity? in basketball I WISH I could land like another.... because whenever I jump I always land like a feather .... damn i look in a mirror my two nipples touch each other... I used to work at a circus as the nerd never nervous... Tight ropes? big deaaaal! endless turf when i worked it... I have a passion to one day stab some phatty asses... and when I do I'm gonna lube my shaft with fatty acids... Even simple cliches have been known to get me prude... Like I run when hearing "I have a bone to pick with you"... A T-Bone is finger food when made for this fellow... who needs knives when I can cut steaks with my elbow... I never date at billiards due to dudes who are foolish... who swear it's funny to have me used as a poolstick... but now I'm swollen so cats can never offend me.. because last week I boasted a max of negative 50... and I'm burly so I'm sending all girls in a fit of awe.... cuz I'm stunning in the gym when I'm curling a sishkabob... No pressure when I jog, so walks just seems random... phuck a rain drop, a brother can walk between atoms.... Trust, when I die my fragments will lie in a sick bed... Dont be surprised if my casket is as wide as a bic pen... LOL WUN YO
__________________
I Came Back Like Bustin Nuts On Spinal Chords Try Me Mofuckaz............ |
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07-28-03, 10:58 AM
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#2
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Guest
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IP:
My body's a laugh, anorexics view me as a gentleman...
but in biology classes teachers used me as the skeleton... Not a bad piece...definitely had creativity |
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07-28-03, 04:56 PM
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#3
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WarLord
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IP:
LOOL THANKS
UPPPUNNNNNNNNNNNN
__________________
I Came Back Like Bustin Nuts On Spinal Chords Try Me Mofuckaz............ |
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07-28-03, 05:16 PM
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#4
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Middle Weight
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IP:
It was creative, the introduction definitely had me reading more,
"Yo listen my mother used to say "i doubted that you would live"... Cuz she didnt have to push, I walked out of the uterus... Vitamins sizes are to big so my vitals are obscene... You think it's coincidence that all my idols are obese?..." That was an excellent intro, unfortunately, the piece was hurt by some bad lines. "Gravity? in basketball I WISH I could land like another.... because whenever I jump I always land like a feather .... damn i look in a mirror my two nipples touch each other..." "I have a passion to one day stab some phatty asses... and when I do I'm gonna lube my shaft with fatty acids..." Those lines and one or two others really brought the piece down, they just seemed to lack the amount of creativity brought forth from the introduction and made it seem as though you took a turn towards making fun of skinny people, rather than addressing the problem. Not a bad piece, but the introduction made it sound like it would have been a little more serious than what it turned out to be. Keep the introduction, but work on rewriting the rest. |
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07-28-03, 05:23 PM
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#5
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Guest
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IP:
it was anice peace to reqade i think you could of done better within it seams like it wasnt thought but rushed still it was great and still im wondering where the hell are our 2 collabs i hit you with yo post them.
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07-29-03, 04:52 AM
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#6
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Guest
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IP:
You Bit...
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07-29-03, 06:37 AM
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#7
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.-.Marxism.-.
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IP:
^Lol... Serious
Was Funny... The Pic Attached Was Better Though |
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07-29-03, 07:04 AM
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#8
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WarLord
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IP:
LOOOL FUCKIN GREMLINGS.......
__________________
I Came Back Like Bustin Nuts On Spinal Chords Try Me Mofuckaz............ |
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07-29-03, 07:05 AM
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#9
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.-.Marxism.-.
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IP:
GIZMO OWNS YOU!
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07-29-03, 07:07 AM
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#10
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WarLord
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IP:
LOOOOOL^^^^^ LMEO eripsni
__________________
I Came Back Like Bustin Nuts On Spinal Chords Try Me Mofuckaz............ |
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07-29-03, 11:12 AM
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#11
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Guest
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IP:
Yo RUTH gotta hand it to ya i wouldn't think to write some shit about skinny men lol
nice peace WARLORDS doin it agin ZEAH |
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07-29-03, 03:27 PM
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#12
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Guest
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IP:
Nice....
but it's amazing how you could write the exact same thing I did, 19 days after I did it... Oh...thanks for the responses yall, lol. This was meant to be a comedic topic. I guess Ruthless liked it alot. |
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07-29-03, 03:33 PM
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#13
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Guest
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IP:
Nice job.. overall i was feeling the verse..
but i was feeling this a little more... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/att...=&postid=658874 But ur verse was good. |
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07-29-03, 06:30 PM
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#14
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BANNED For Dumbassness
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IP:
nice drop
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07-29-03, 06:59 PM
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#15
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Guest
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IP:
ruth how the hell man..this wasnt even a good verse...youve dropped nicer verses in msn o me than this shit..the guys a herb and it as a herbs verse.....why ruth.....first saladin and no you...am trying hard not to beleive it but the evidence is righ there infront of me..how cani not
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