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07-31-03, 12:47 AM | #1 | ||
Banned AKA Dante
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Revenge From The Sidelines (My Inner Demons Personified)
IP:
He said take a Suicide slide
no thats not for me that requires initiative I can still hear my inner little league coach yell'n PITCH IT IN PLAY THROUGH THE PAIN GO GET THE TEAM SOME GATORADE his orders go right through me at full volume to this day all this kids are chanting dont-fuck-up dont-fuck-up but i was indifferent never a team player no I in team they said but there is a m and an e I was never much of an athlete standards that i cant meet some body feel free to stop me before I leave YOU FUCKING LOSER WHY DONT YOU TRY WINNING FOR ONCE DONT YOU KNOW HOW NOT TO BE A KLUTZ? shut the fuck up your driving me fucking nuts think your better than me just cuz you have a job and a gut Id kill myself If i was 45 and still wore sweatpants to work YOU LITTLE JERK I'LL WRING YOUR FUCKING NECK ILL TEACH YOU THING A OR 2 ABOUT DISRESPECT its not my fault that youve got a crappy life or that you just got divorced from your 5th wife and she took the house and the kids and now there both bastards why dont you do yourself a favor skip the child support and get yourself a stairmaster YOU'LL NEVER BE ANYTHING YOU LITTLE FAGGOT GO SING A SONG MY LIFE MAY SUCK BUT YOUR'E NOT GONNA LIVE THIS LONG your probly right, me living that longs not likely but the way you turned out it looks like somebody up there likes me SMART ASS KID TAKE OFF THAT UNIFORM AND PUT ON A DRESS I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE THERES TOO MUCH FUCKING STRESS you think it's stressful to be insulted what a revelation oh my god youve had a hard day of ego manifestation get this man another hot dog that'll fix that I THINK IM HAVING A HEART ATTACK (falls to the floor) alright, whos next up to bat? |
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07-31-03, 12:50 AM | #2 | ||
Banned AKA Dante
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IP:
this is definetly my weirdest piece so far
THE CAPITAL LETTERS ARE THE COACH TALKING and the lower case letters are me talking any feedback would be highly appreciated, thx |
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07-31-03, 09:45 PM | #3 | ||
Banned AKA Dante
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IP:
read dis plz
then lemme know what you thought of it, thx |
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07-31-03, 10:56 PM | #4 | |
Guest
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IP:
Wow....kind of like a mini story to me....hmm....i like the line about having an m and e in the word team..well thought out...very nice!
hmm...it may be weird to other people..but in your eyes it is probably the most beautiful art work....so don't let other people get you down.... Very painful is what i got out of it...i could be wrong..i'm just telling you what i got out of it....kinda of reminded me of a child being picked on..and then reminding me of past fears..that catch up and haunt you.. Nice.. God bless..1.. |
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07-31-03, 11:36 PM | #5 | ||
Banned AKA Dante
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IP:
thanks for the support and feedback LadyTrinity
Your interpretation was interesting and very much appreciated Any other comments or criticisms are welcome and and encouraged! |
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08-01-03, 10:23 PM | #6 | ||
Banned AKA Dante
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IP:
upp'n
this thread like wonder bread |
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08-02-03, 04:58 PM | #7 | ||
Banned AKA Dante
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IP:
^^^^^^
plz read that and feed back thx |
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08-02-03, 11:11 PM | #8 | ||
Banned AKA Dante
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IP:
lemme know what you think of this, thanks
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08-03-03, 02:54 AM | #9 | ||
Special Ghost To Blow
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IP:
This Was Definately Different...
The Scrolling Part Was Annoying But Still Worth Reading Your A Player Without The Jersey You Win Or You Lose..Inbetweens Unacceptable Unless The Word Player Is Used In A Different Context This Made Me Think Of Eminems Song Kim Which I Dont Even Like But Emotionally You Were On That Level With This Piece Pushing The Limit Is Good And Being Creative Is A Gift Embrace The Talent Peace |
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08-03-03, 12:11 PM | #10 | |
Guest
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IP:
This was quite raw, you used a very on the edge style. Which was used to fairly good effect.
I liked how you got right into the 'mind-set' of the situation. Just kept it going without relenting. The desperation also appealed to me. Nice read... ..resp.. |
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08-03-03, 07:18 PM | #11 | ||
Banned AKA Dante
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IP:
Thanks for the Compliments
varentao and Content Flowz I respect both your work and I'll keep writing if you keep reading :Peace: |
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08-04-03, 03:40 AM | #12 | ||
Banned AKA Dante
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IP:
any other takers?
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08-04-03, 03:49 AM | #13 | |
Guest
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IP:
so you really think that u'r that kid that dishes out the insults? dude, u make like 25 fuckin posts a day, and yet you feel that you're not gonna turn out to be like that coach. Really man, u'r obsessed with just a fuckin website, just chill out man, it's a fuckin website. so definitely quit acting like you're better than other people when u'r probably on the same level of pathetic as them.
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08-04-03, 04:44 AM | #14 | |||
Banned AKA Dante
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IP:
Quote:
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08-04-03, 07:27 PM | #15 | ||
Banned AKA Dante
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IP:
GOING
GOING GONE! |
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