hey everyone, i'm back......tho i'm sure no one remembers me, lol
i used to be a staple on this board way back in the day......peep my latest peice and gimme good replies, thx....pzz

"Written in Blood"

Picture this, a lovely relationship based upon bliss
Where two kiss and make love passionatly without risk
Now throw that wish outta your head and concentrate
Imagine events that raise the death rate and sheds' fates
only leading to more hate, i'll elaborate on this horror story
parents, put the kids to bed early tonight, this letter might get alittle gory.....

--Anonymous letter to mother

"I say innocent souls exist only when they can cringe
A callous heart dwells ina whirlwind as the world spins
Lately i'v debated with Satan about fate and chaos
I speak the truth, at this place it's too late for fake plots
the begining spot, high school, english class in the past
a beautiful girl ready to crash, beggin anyone to save her ass`
a young genious with an impossible task to be the freak
experienced everything except peace, cried like her eyes leaked
Now i'v witnessed this and feel change is needed
i'm indeed waiting paitently for inspiration bleeding
some call it kidnapping, i call it full time baby sitting
i plucked this intermittent rose petal without grittin
took her from sittin in bio class to living the teachings
useless became readings, no use learning about those beatings
on a tether, we soon tango'd to the music each night together
oh it was amazing, how the sweat dripped beneath the leather
whether or not she enjoyed it as much as me, i was in love
a kiss and a hug each morning as i woke her with more than a nudge
afternoons have flown by like a dove, but my gloves are still stained
it's rained, but i still can't get rid of that horrid stench gained
maybe its the stench of failings, maybe i never really helped her
we had daily sailings to the beach, once it rained so we reached shelter
except for the ropes, we made love bare naked under the umbrella
saving this chick, slaving for her quick, i'm behaving like a good fella
but good things always come to an end, i like to pretend
but she became a rental, i had to let her go, we didn't blend
arguements of blood and knots became too frequent
the sequence of events led me to get this message sent
your daughter meant alot to me, but i had to forget my love
what i'm writing with is not red ink, this is written in her blood...."

this was an ok piece, vocab was alright but not great, complexity was not really there but it wasnt totally basic, was pretty descriptive at times, you got some good emotions and thoughts across.

trust me, it was more complex than you think.....

thx

^

THE IMAGE AND EFFECTION WAS EXPLOITED WELL HERE RELATIVE SENCES WE CAN ALL ADHERE TO.
CONCIOUS AS HELL AND WELL COMPOSED I DONT SEE THE LACK OF COMPLEXITY BUT I HAVE READ THIS 4 TIMES EACH ONE HOLD AN UN OPENED CHAMBER OR FEELING I DIDNT CATCH PRIOR I RATE THIS A 9.5 OUT OF 10(IM MAD I WASNT ON IT)
PEEP MY ORDO ABACHO TRYOUTS YOU GOT MAD TALENT

tight drop man...i was feelin it...i liekd the vocab an the state of mind it seemed to have 1

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

is this Peepers from RnR?

lmao...at how amateur this site really is...yes he is peepers from rnr....and this piece was dope as fuck...i already gave you props on this over at the pnp Peepers....

__________________
..Ghetto Essence..

dope piece dawg....keep writting...holla back

khoi who are you on RnR?
yep this is Peepers


thx for the love guys, maybe i'll stick around this board....

anymore?

Replied To This At RnR, or RM I Cannot Remember lol . . .

Dope Peice . . Nice Flow To It .. Just Fire Peice . .

__________________
Authentik Intelligence,
` Nuff Said.

thX

aight just checking.... dope piece.

that was good enjoyed readin it