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Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
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Moving on...
IP:
Challenges may lead to misfortune
But always take you higher Improvements made on winding roads To reach secret desires Inspirationn leads to growth Painful as it may be Experience allows you to take heed You'll believe me when you see Destruction strewn on cobbled roads Never to be found Now time has past It travelled fast Blurring out all sound Memories forgotten Leaving Matter rotten Yet still hidden from view In diaries cold, through futures untold I will always love you. |
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IP:
nice piecema,short simple but still well strung,keep droppin u got skill,~1~
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IP:
Thanks man
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IP:
nice piece...Keep it up...
peAce |
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IP:
I liked this, there was a hint of wisdom in the short simplicity of this peice, you know like in movies when they go to the wise (oracle or whoever else) and they say something simple that doesn't seem like a whole lot until the end... haha I'm done babbeling on that, hope you got me, if not don't feel bad, most people don't... I loved the shortness of the lines and the depth they seemed to hold, that is something that not everyone can capture but you have done it well. You are a good writer, I enjoyed this very much, I'll be lookin forward to reading more of your work, peace.
Ps. Welcome to RB, and I'm lovin tha name... |
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IP:
Thanks a lot! It means everything to me. I'm glad y'all appreciate it.
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IP:
The simplicity hid a fairly profound meaning. You took a real pure stance with this. Some might say naive. But i say pure. Pure and to an extent, enlightened.
I didn't get that it was about someone you loved. Right till the last line. And even when looking back, there are little to no hints. That made it the more interesting. the last three lines hit the hardest. A nice piece.. ..resp... |
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IP:
Thanks for the feedback. The last line came from someone else, cause I'd been sitting chopping and changing parts for an hour or so. Then I found the poem a week later and showed my friend, who suggested that as the last line cause it just needed rounded off. I'm glad it made it more interesting though. The whole thing was written kinda subconciously, but then when I read it back it seemed to make sense.
Thanks again. |
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